Sorry.....
Wow. I can't remember the last time I actually felt good like this, or how it feels to be loved by the person you're with. I don't really know how to express myself to her. I care for her very much but, get a lil scaried of saying how much. I don't want to risk anything, I don't want to mess it up this time. I think thats why I'm holding back. I wasn't EVER like that with cb and I think thats why I am not saying much. I mean I put my heart and soul into my last relationship and it was great for about 9 months but, then came the after math. That hurt so much I just don't want to feel that again. I still think about it, and worry about it. Not a day goes by without it running through my head. I try not to show it when I'm with lindsey, I don't want her to think I want to be with cb. I really don't, I just don't want to hurt lindsey like I did cb. I saw Ben (christabelles friend)at Sabino this morning while visiting lindsey, he wouldn't even look at me let alone say hello. I hate that people know so much about me when I hardly know them. I hate that I told my secrets to someone I didn't think would ever tell. I hate that I fell in love with someone who won't even speak to me anymore. I hate that I gave my heart away when it may not have been mine to give. But most of all I hate that I hurt someone so much. I would do anything to turn back time and let her go when I should have. I'm sorry I did that to you, I'm sorry I couldn't be the person you wanted me to be, I'm sorry that i made you cry, I'm sorry I broke your heart, I'm just sorry for everything I ever did to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you, EVER! God I have to stop writing before I get all emotional.
~Kristina~
~Kristina~