eternal sunshine on the spotless mind
once again i watched eternal sunshine, today with claire, a girl i just started hanging out with recently. save your cheap ass comments concerning that line for iam to be single for the rest of my life. made me wodner though. i always felt that this movie was deeply and truly depressing. it very much reminded me of my relationship i had in germany, and i can feel, really feel, the pain it is showing. the process of breaking up, the mean comments, they hurt. it makes me wonder if i can ever feel again like i did back then. it all seems like an imitation. like ive been there and it just isnt worth a second ride. its like u feel love once, and then its gone forever. how good would it be to forget? wouldnt it jsut be the same? wouldnt i come out the same person i came out before knowing nothing more than i do no. but what do i know now? i have distrust, i dont like myself and really dont like anybody else, no motivation, no color, no joy. what is it that makes life enjoyable for me. im like an animal, a dog rather, whos just happy when he gets food, or some attention and a run in free mother nature... after all at least some measure of comfort. thats where i find it, in the raw beauty of nature. honest and beautiful. good night.