..worldly experiences...
As I was looking through family albums today, on the floor, listening to tides of conversation change from remembrances to avoidances and back in a steady rhythm,...I began to think of the nature of change. For my whole life I've lived through change. From the simple flow of my facial hair fancies to the larger experiences of the mortal necessity that is the ending of life, my brain stuffs have been turning and working over most of my worldly experiences. A big change always puts the rest into perspective. There are so many little concerns that make up human existence that it is all too easy to be side-tracked and trapped in the trivial things...the selfish things...that facing anything bigger than yourself hits you from behind. It blindsides you because you were too busy looking in your own heart for all the signs of your own taxing worries over the he-said-she-said and the hullabaloo that is a woman's (or, as well, a man's)unattainable status...well, at least as far as 'you'-is-'me' goes. So often is one(me) assaulted by the tiny grains of our (my) sea-side sentimental sands that we forget the ocean the waits to tear down our castles and sweep away the footsteps of our fondest friends...making it all that harder to track them down and have a chat. Crossing Cantrel is much easier that crossing the Great Divide. Regardless, the meat of my speaking is that through death we learn about life and are better able to see what is there and make value judgments...the very judgments that mark us as humans. I cry because I am fallible, and I have made mistakes. I cry because any ending makes me unhappy. I always end up feeling like a D student, barely making it through...too caught up in my own drama to fully respect the great play in which we all play a role. My own part is overwhelming until I realize what the next character is forced to say. I'm spent.
-Guppy
-Guppy