(no subject)
i will forever remember this birthday as the year that you "forgot" about my birthday.
if i hadnt emailed you asking for money to come home, would you have remembered? you answered me yesterday and didnt say it then so you had been forgetting about it.
were you just sitting at your desk saying, oh hey i remember this kid (one of two, obviously the less prodigal one), damn doesnt she have a birthday once a year? oh yeah it was two days ago. let me just tell her that i forgot to confirm her beliefs that i dont care about her at all.
i have this feeling in my stomach, in my heart, in my mind, that you do not care about me at all. youre going to die and not remember me. i will be an afterthought and you will never be that for me. shouldnt it be the other way around?
im in school, im doing well, i have a job, i do everything to make you happy. you told me you wanted me to have a job, i got one. no matter how much it stresses me, i deal with it. you were the only person i wanted to tell that i had gotten it and the only person i did it for.
why cant i ever be good enough for you? or good enough to be a thought, or a thought once a year...
if i hadnt emailed you asking for money to come home, would you have remembered? you answered me yesterday and didnt say it then so you had been forgetting about it.
were you just sitting at your desk saying, oh hey i remember this kid (one of two, obviously the less prodigal one), damn doesnt she have a birthday once a year? oh yeah it was two days ago. let me just tell her that i forgot to confirm her beliefs that i dont care about her at all.
i have this feeling in my stomach, in my heart, in my mind, that you do not care about me at all. youre going to die and not remember me. i will be an afterthought and you will never be that for me. shouldnt it be the other way around?
im in school, im doing well, i have a job, i do everything to make you happy. you told me you wanted me to have a job, i got one. no matter how much it stresses me, i deal with it. you were the only person i wanted to tell that i had gotten it and the only person i did it for.
why cant i ever be good enough for you? or good enough to be a thought, or a thought once a year...