the end is near....
so while everything was HORRIBLE for a long time, i think things are leveling off now. i have NO finals next week, cuz they were all this week! stressed now, chillin later. only bad thing is i have to get rid of my cat Topaz :( i love her to death however she pees everywhere on my carpet! and i can't get her to stop, so the only choice is to say goodbye topaz :( unless i can get her to stop tho i've been unsuccessful for over 2months now! :( its sooo horrible for me to walk into my own house cuz that's all i smell!..so i'm sure u can imagine i NEVER have ppl over. which really sux cuz i need ppl in my life more then ever now. today was supposed to be the "2yr anniv". oh well, it wasn't meant to be i see now. if it was he woulda cared or worked for us long ago. its a harsh reality to face, but i have to do it. if i don't then i'll just struggle with it 4ever and i deserve a better existence then that. this Sat will be exactly 1month of being single. who knew that maybe i could start getting the hang of it all again. i'm starting new things, opening my eyes to the abroad life i dreamed about. i'm more and more determined to go abroad for life. i just gotta get out i think, go and explore. i can't look for love n e more, cuz u can't find what isn't there. and it just may not ever be there for me. but i have love from God, family, and friends, and myself. when its finally right love will find me
.....well i'm in the library "studying" lol. i did do it for 3hrs now. so i deserve this break lol. i just gotta keep my head up!
...i'm a survivor i'm gonna make it! if i don't keep that mentality then God knows where my state of being would be! i must love me. if i don't do for myself no one else will. Real Love is like a disney movie, just something i watch and wish for..once upon a dream....
...ok for real back to studying, God knows what i just wrote lol. it prolly makes no sense, and even i'll be like um what did i mean when i read this in the morning. ha peace!
.....well i'm in the library "studying" lol. i did do it for 3hrs now. so i deserve this break lol. i just gotta keep my head up!
...i'm a survivor i'm gonna make it! if i don't keep that mentality then God knows where my state of being would be! i must love me. if i don't do for myself no one else will. Real Love is like a disney movie, just something i watch and wish for..once upon a dream....
...ok for real back to studying, God knows what i just wrote lol. it prolly makes no sense, and even i'll be like um what did i mean when i read this in the morning. ha peace!