(no subject)
I thought that I had lost sight of it all.. what I was reaching for, what it was that was at my fingertips.
And then realized that I was never even close.
Maybe I'm going about it all wrong... the decrees, the strive for certainty. It's just not working.
You told me to just let it go, to let all of it go. The abuse, the backstabbing, the lies, the unloyalty, the cheating, the drugs, the confusion, the betrayal, the memories, the blood, the phone calls, the self-hatred, the blame, the rage, the perfectionism, the walls, the stone facade, the constant search, the assaults, the anger. I had a choice... to either walk out or break down and I made my choice.
Hopefully, I made the right one and I can continue trying to piece it all back together.
"I am the clown with the tear-away face.
Here in a flash and gone without a trace!"
~The Nightmare Behind Christmas Soundtrack, This Is Halloween
And then realized that I was never even close.
Maybe I'm going about it all wrong... the decrees, the strive for certainty. It's just not working.
You told me to just let it go, to let all of it go. The abuse, the backstabbing, the lies, the unloyalty, the cheating, the drugs, the confusion, the betrayal, the memories, the blood, the phone calls, the self-hatred, the blame, the rage, the perfectionism, the walls, the stone facade, the constant search, the assaults, the anger. I had a choice... to either walk out or break down and I made my choice.
Hopefully, I made the right one and I can continue trying to piece it all back together.
"I am the clown with the tear-away face.
Here in a flash and gone without a trace!"
~The Nightmare Behind Christmas Soundtrack, This Is Halloween