(no subject)
wow. HOW SHITTY DO THINGS HAVE TO GET BEFORE I SLIT MY FUCKING WRISTS?
seriously.
death>living.
my fucking uncle is dying, my stepdad (who is like a true father to me) is dying, my godfather is moving in, and hes dying. which means hes gonna die here. and now my boyfriend is leaving me.
so. at first, josh was trying to join the air national guard. he told me that he wanted to break up when he left for bootcamp/tech school because it would last 6-8 months, ans he didnt trust himself to stay loyal if he were at a bar or if he met some chick. and when he got back we would get back together.
so i wasnt digging that. but we didnt really talk about it yet.
we had a cheesy moment. as in, we laid in the dark and held eachother and cried and blah blah blah. he said all kinds of shit, like, 'youre the reason i stay here,' and that he would come back for me like in The Notebook.
so he went to MEPS on the 21st, and hasnt talked to me since.
i talked to him tonight, and he was being a fuckin asshole. like, seriously, he was deleting shit i was posting in our group on vampirefreaks, and when i talked to him on the phone, he was saying a bunch of shit about how he is under so much stress, and wants to leave the state because he got disqualified from MEPS because of some hearing problem.
he then told me in the group on VF "im done with this state, im done with everything here, everything is going downhill for me as long as I'm here. I plan to leave the state and start a new life, i cant deal with anything here no more. i just wanna be left alone and stop being called "babe" and all. I cant live here no more."
which is complete bullshit, because ive tried to be here for him when he was going through this.
anddd i told him that while we're taking a break, im not gonna take our pictures down, or take the shit i have about him off my profiles, and im NOT gonna stop calling him babe, and he said 'me neither'.
and now hes giving me shit for calling him babe?
i cant believe hes doing this to me. like, honestly, i can fess up and say when i acted like a bitch to him, but in this situation, i didnt do SHIT! i just tried to be there for him, and hes taking everything out on me and ignoring me and treating me like fucking shit.
and i basically fucked myself over because this guy Eli wants my nuts and hes been hitting me up for the past 3 months begging for a hook up, and i kinda said 'i would if i were single'
well fuck me running. i didnt think i would actually end up goddamned single!!
and now hes saying 'well when we start dating you have to put out cuz we've been talking dirty for 3 months'
NO. WE havent been talking dirty. HE has.
seriously.
death>living.
my fucking uncle is dying, my stepdad (who is like a true father to me) is dying, my godfather is moving in, and hes dying. which means hes gonna die here. and now my boyfriend is leaving me.
so. at first, josh was trying to join the air national guard. he told me that he wanted to break up when he left for bootcamp/tech school because it would last 6-8 months, ans he didnt trust himself to stay loyal if he were at a bar or if he met some chick. and when he got back we would get back together.
so i wasnt digging that. but we didnt really talk about it yet.
we had a cheesy moment. as in, we laid in the dark and held eachother and cried and blah blah blah. he said all kinds of shit, like, 'youre the reason i stay here,' and that he would come back for me like in The Notebook.
so he went to MEPS on the 21st, and hasnt talked to me since.
i talked to him tonight, and he was being a fuckin asshole. like, seriously, he was deleting shit i was posting in our group on vampirefreaks, and when i talked to him on the phone, he was saying a bunch of shit about how he is under so much stress, and wants to leave the state because he got disqualified from MEPS because of some hearing problem.
he then told me in the group on VF "im done with this state, im done with everything here, everything is going downhill for me as long as I'm here. I plan to leave the state and start a new life, i cant deal with anything here no more. i just wanna be left alone and stop being called "babe" and all. I cant live here no more."
which is complete bullshit, because ive tried to be here for him when he was going through this.
anddd i told him that while we're taking a break, im not gonna take our pictures down, or take the shit i have about him off my profiles, and im NOT gonna stop calling him babe, and he said 'me neither'.
and now hes giving me shit for calling him babe?
i cant believe hes doing this to me. like, honestly, i can fess up and say when i acted like a bitch to him, but in this situation, i didnt do SHIT! i just tried to be there for him, and hes taking everything out on me and ignoring me and treating me like fucking shit.
and i basically fucked myself over because this guy Eli wants my nuts and hes been hitting me up for the past 3 months begging for a hook up, and i kinda said 'i would if i were single'
well fuck me running. i didnt think i would actually end up goddamned single!!
and now hes saying 'well when we start dating you have to put out cuz we've been talking dirty for 3 months'
NO. WE havent been talking dirty. HE has.