Wow. This has me breathless - it's beautifully written in its simplicity. I'm so bad at leaving feedback that isn't incoherent keysmashing, but I'll pick out a few of my favorite bits:
soaring over it all, the piercing wail of her child’s displeasure.
Her throat closes at the sound. Her body has killed five daughters, but her son shrieks with life, red-faced and furious. This so perfectly describes the moment - Sirius' birth is like a breath of fresh air in that almost oppressive scene.
Also this: She looks down at the mess of tangled black hair and just marvels at him for a moment, at this oversized confusion of a boy she has watched go from breaking his brother’s toys to breaking rules for the sheer insolent delight of it to breaking his mother’s horrid black heart. I love, love, LOVE this line - it's just so utterly Sirius, always rebelling. And "oversized confusion of a boy" is a wonderful image.
(Okay, last one, I swear): The boys are slumped together in an awkward slouch. Sirius’s head has fallen against James’s shoulder;
( ... )
Okay, this reply is about a year late but WHATEVER. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave coherent feedback. :) I'm glad you enjoyed the story.
OMG I KNOW. Oh boys. ♥ This is totally gen nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean oh whatever they are so doing it.
This is just perfect. I love how much of Sirius comes across in this and how fiercely Mrs Potter and Andromeda love him. The talk of Sirius being an open book in his expressions also fits nicely.
Absolutely beautiful. Really. I don't know what else to say about this except that I'm truly in awe of your style and this gorgeous stream of words. I find it so amazing how the central character (Sirius) says so little, and yet we learn so much about him.
Hi, I'm here on sambethe's rec. This is just a brilliant piece of writing - spare, economical, and absolutely packed with incisive character delineation, dark vivid imagery and larger meaning. I was especially impressed by the subtle (and not so subtle) ferocity of all three women, and I always particularly enjoy this technique of revealing the focal character thru the observations of others - a technique you've used to very memorable effect indeed! Wonderful fic - I'm very glad to have read it!
This is marvellous. Your characterizations are outstanding. I love all of the women, and Sirius seen through their eyes. How intense Walpurgia is. How dark Andromeda is. Loved this.
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soaring over it all, the piercing wail of her child’s displeasure.
Her throat closes at the sound. Her body has killed five daughters, but her son shrieks with life, red-faced and furious. This so perfectly describes the moment - Sirius' birth is like a breath of fresh air in that almost oppressive scene.
Also this: She looks down at the mess of tangled black hair and just marvels at him for a moment, at this oversized confusion of a boy she has watched go from breaking his brother’s toys to breaking rules for the sheer insolent delight of it to breaking his mother’s horrid black heart. I love, love, LOVE this line - it's just so utterly Sirius, always rebelling. And "oversized confusion of a boy" is a wonderful image.
(Okay, last one, I swear): The boys are slumped together in an awkward slouch. Sirius’s head has fallen against James’s shoulder; ( ... )
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OMG I KNOW. Oh boys. ♥ This is totally gen nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean oh whatever they are so doing it.
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Really enjoyed!
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I am SO jealous!
Well done!
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