ThRoWiNg AwAy ThE pEoPlE tHaT cArE aNd RePlAcInG tHeM wItH fAkEs
I want you be there when I cry so you can hold me in your arms and tell me everything is going to be fine...even if it's not gonna be fine. Today is the day I'm gonna fade away...
Bob IMed me today....Damn I miss him soo much, I wish he had the nerve to dump Mandy. But maybe he does love her. He loved me at one time and I crushed his heart. I'm soooo sorry for that...I really am. Anyways, I wrote something in class today, cuz i felt really depressed today. *sighs* Someone comment and said I'm trying to make people feel bad, when everyone knows..I don't want anyone to care.
"I Lost My Pride When I Was With You. I Didn't Care About Anything When I Was With You" Here's the thing I wrote....
I walk thru the halls looking at everyone. A "wigger" guy hugs a "punk" girl. "Preps" talking about who is going out with who..the sluts of the school, which guy's they wanna fuck...and so forth. I keep walking ignoring the fact that my name was mention. Everything turns to a blurr..I feel like crying...I feel like falling on my knees and crying..The bell rings and brings me back. A girl walks by, smiling. It makes my stomach hurt. "You need your book for Math" I whisper thanks..I turn around and heads to my locker. I unlock my locker and grab my book. I look around..seeing few kids in a hall..A teacher asking a student to go to the main office. He's throwing a fit. "Child, your late for class..you should hurry up" said a voice..I turn around and see a Teacher behind me..Mr. Clark..the social studies teacher of Team 81...Amanda's team. "Yes sir" I head back to the classroom. I enter...and silently walks towards the back. Teacher doesn't bother with me. Everyone knows on my team about my "problem" I pull out my notebook and writes down the notes. I watch as a girl named Becky slips a note to Kate. Becky was in the hospital for an Overdose...I wish that was me...but dead. The classroom starts to become a blurr. The feelings are back. I slide my hand in my pocket and feels the smooth edge of my razor blade. I smile. "Raquel, answer the question please" The teacher ask me. "42" I say...I was correct. I glance at the clock..10 more mins. He tells us our weekly plan.Nothing exciting. I get up and walk out. Fuck this..I walk down the hall and towards my next class.
So that was how one class was like...the rest didn't get any better. Well, I'm ending it here. Write more later...or tomorrow. Killing Myself Slowly
"Spill Your Hear Out For Me" "I Would Love To Break Your Heart"