misery loves my company
ive been having the worst time ever. i just talked to david and he was telling me he's talking to someone. someone thats not me. someone to potentially replace me. and when he said that i lost it. i cried. because i may lose him for good. he is everything to me. there is no one better for me in my life right now. david is it. and if i cant have him then i dont want anyone. when i met him, i thought we would be together forever. our love blossomed so well. and then i lost sight of the important picture: each other. i was paranoid of losing him, so i did things that pushed him farther away. and now im having to pay for it. i could lose the one person that means the most to me in my entire life because i couldnt stop worrying about the stupid things. right now, i just want to lay my head on someones shoulder and cry. well, im doing the crying part. david is home to me. he wants us to be friends and i want us to be a couple. but i guess if i become a better friend for him we can become a better couple. i need to see that he wants us to be friends and if i stop crying and stop freaking out that maybe, just MAYBE things will work themselves out. i NEED TO BE HAPPY. AND IM NOT. I NEED TO DO THINGS WITH FRIENDS AND TALK TO HIM AND BE HAPPY WHEN HE CALLS NOT SAD. THINGS NEED TO BE ALRIGHT OR I WILL NEVER HAVE THE ONE PERSON THAT MEANS THE MOST TO ME BACK AGAIN. I DO NOT WANT TO LOSE HIM OR HIS LOVE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is so painful. i just have to sit back, take care of myself, and hope that he comes around and stop the worrying. i love david, and thats the bottom line.