everything is fallin apart!!

[gummybear123]

ok so it seems like lately that EVERYTHING is fallin apart..and i mean almost everything..ok first off crew..everyone is fuckin quiting and i have a feeling that it is gonna b sooo shitty..no to mention the fact that i have like no friends on crew..like i have friends but not many close friends that i talk to outside of crew..most of my friends r either none-crew ppl or ex-crew ppl..it so sad to say this..but im the loner on crew hahah..and yea so far this year it feels like im workin for nothing..idk my 2 coaches at the start of the year were like we want u on varsity and u could b there cuz of ur size and u have the potential and all this shit u just need to push urself.. so im like hey thats awsome..so i bust my fuckin ass at everything we do and freakin kill myself..and wat do they put me on..THE FUCKIN 3RD 8.. or as jon put it "the turd 8" lol...but i just dont see the point..and i mean i want to quit really really bad but im not the type of person who just gives up when something doesnt go my way..and plus if i quit crew i would become a porker!!(haha lauren)..but anyways other then that skool is ok friends r ok..o..and love like..ahah wat love life..i dont have one..no one seems to b interested in me..not like that is a new thing lol..but yea i dont really like anyone either..i guess..idk..im all confused rite now but yea w/e on that..so yea thats how my life is going rite now..i really miss my brother i wish he was still here..we got soo close over the last year and then he had to go away..but ill see im in a month and a half so i guess that is ok lol..so yea..that is my boring life..not that anyone actually cares but i just have to get it all out sometimes..
love ya
xoxo stef