Orbit Around the Marker
I thought i had a revelation today.
I was wrong.
I went to work then to the bank to deposit my check 15 minutes ago. Whilst waiting in line at the bank, a heavyset black man, who is being serviced by the teller on the far right, begins speaking some off the wall praises.
He looks to the man who is being serviced like himself and asks "Are you a firefighter?" (How he knew to ask him that, is beyond me)
The man replies "yes, why?" The conversation continues like this: (BM = Black Man, FF = FireFighter)
BM: Did you know that when there's a fire, the smoke is what kills you? Not the flames! Theat HEAVY black smoke!
FF (Chuckling): Yes, most of the time, smoke is a bigger killer than the fire.
BM: Yup, you're dead before the fire even burns you
FF: Well most of the time but---
BM: I tell you a story, one time years ago, i was going to meet a lady-friend of mine, for a few drinks. (Looks around to everyone in the bank and says this was before he was SAVED) I go home and set *something i didnt understand him say* on the tv, light a cigarette, and fall asleep watching tv.
(Bank customers quietly giggling, but go straight faced as he looks around)
BM: I see a BRIGHT LIGHT! A FLASH! I WAKE UP! AND SMOKES EVERYWHERE! GOING OUT THE WINDOWS! DOORS! EVERYWHERE! THAT WAS MY SAVIOR! THAT FLASH....WAS HIM TRYING TO WAKE ME UP! BECAUSE OF THE LORD, I'M STANDING HERE TODAY! IF THAT FLASH DIDNT WAKE ME UP! THAT SMOKE WOULD HAVE KILLED ME!
FF: Well actually the smoke would take a bit of time before it killed you--
BM: NO IT WAS THE LORD, THE BRIGHT FLASH!
FF: That could have been anything, a spark, anything.
BM: Nope nope nope, i tell you, Jesus still walks the earth. Jesus saved my life!
End
I have mixed feelings. How do i know he isnt just wacko? or what if he knows the truth? What if there is a God which ive constantly questioned in the past. Maybe the firefighter was right? i have no idea. But i think im going to start praying again. ive been saying it for months i wanted to, but i think i am going to start. Pray for my friends, family...and not to be selfish, but myself. im not exactly in the position i should be in, and maybe if there really IS a God, he'll help a brother out.
so go ahead and call me crazy and spiritual or wierd or whatever the fuck you want to think about me...but im going to start trying to be a better person.
...but i cant do anything with the dick fuck of a father i have who NEVER notices anything i do, but what i dont do. "WEVE BEEN TOO EASY ON YOU LATELY!" "SHITS GONNA CHANGE!" sure Joe, you can go lick my fucking asshole ring while youre at it, you blind bitch. WHAT THE FUCK DOES BEN DO!?!?!? is the question i ask every time. and their reply "Dont worry about ben."
Lets see, in order to prevent rent money, me and ben have to do things around the house. i vacuum the living room 2-3 times a week, clean the glass in the living room once a week, clean the dog shit off the porch patio every 2 or so days, i unload and/or load the dishwasher daily, take out the garbage, STRAIGHTEN UP DAILY SO DAD DOESNT COME HOME ON A RAMPAGE LIKE HE DID TODAY and run CONSTANT errands for both parents...Ben: hmmmmmmm....when was the last time he dusted the living room...brb...ok, i ran my finger slightly across the fireplace top, and this is what i found:
yeah, so get the fuck off my dick and say something to perfect ben for a change. he does NOTHING around the house. NOTHING! occastionally he'll unload/load the dishwasher, but other than that...JACK SHIT. but then i get in trouble for not taking out the garbage when i was asked to...no, edit that...TOLD to. im honestly so sick of it here and the fact that they think theyre not a factor in my depression is just re-goddamn-diculous.
i should just jump off a bridge or something, theyd probably bitch at me for that too, so scratch that
I was wrong.
I went to work then to the bank to deposit my check 15 minutes ago. Whilst waiting in line at the bank, a heavyset black man, who is being serviced by the teller on the far right, begins speaking some off the wall praises.
He looks to the man who is being serviced like himself and asks "Are you a firefighter?" (How he knew to ask him that, is beyond me)
The man replies "yes, why?" The conversation continues like this: (BM = Black Man, FF = FireFighter)
BM: Did you know that when there's a fire, the smoke is what kills you? Not the flames! Theat HEAVY black smoke!
FF (Chuckling): Yes, most of the time, smoke is a bigger killer than the fire.
BM: Yup, you're dead before the fire even burns you
FF: Well most of the time but---
BM: I tell you a story, one time years ago, i was going to meet a lady-friend of mine, for a few drinks. (Looks around to everyone in the bank and says this was before he was SAVED) I go home and set *something i didnt understand him say* on the tv, light a cigarette, and fall asleep watching tv.
(Bank customers quietly giggling, but go straight faced as he looks around)
BM: I see a BRIGHT LIGHT! A FLASH! I WAKE UP! AND SMOKES EVERYWHERE! GOING OUT THE WINDOWS! DOORS! EVERYWHERE! THAT WAS MY SAVIOR! THAT FLASH....WAS HIM TRYING TO WAKE ME UP! BECAUSE OF THE LORD, I'M STANDING HERE TODAY! IF THAT FLASH DIDNT WAKE ME UP! THAT SMOKE WOULD HAVE KILLED ME!
FF: Well actually the smoke would take a bit of time before it killed you--
BM: NO IT WAS THE LORD, THE BRIGHT FLASH!
FF: That could have been anything, a spark, anything.
BM: Nope nope nope, i tell you, Jesus still walks the earth. Jesus saved my life!
End
I have mixed feelings. How do i know he isnt just wacko? or what if he knows the truth? What if there is a God which ive constantly questioned in the past. Maybe the firefighter was right? i have no idea. But i think im going to start praying again. ive been saying it for months i wanted to, but i think i am going to start. Pray for my friends, family...and not to be selfish, but myself. im not exactly in the position i should be in, and maybe if there really IS a God, he'll help a brother out.
so go ahead and call me crazy and spiritual or wierd or whatever the fuck you want to think about me...but im going to start trying to be a better person.
...but i cant do anything with the dick fuck of a father i have who NEVER notices anything i do, but what i dont do. "WEVE BEEN TOO EASY ON YOU LATELY!" "SHITS GONNA CHANGE!" sure Joe, you can go lick my fucking asshole ring while youre at it, you blind bitch. WHAT THE FUCK DOES BEN DO!?!?!? is the question i ask every time. and their reply "Dont worry about ben."
Lets see, in order to prevent rent money, me and ben have to do things around the house. i vacuum the living room 2-3 times a week, clean the glass in the living room once a week, clean the dog shit off the porch patio every 2 or so days, i unload and/or load the dishwasher daily, take out the garbage, STRAIGHTEN UP DAILY SO DAD DOESNT COME HOME ON A RAMPAGE LIKE HE DID TODAY and run CONSTANT errands for both parents...Ben: hmmmmmmm....when was the last time he dusted the living room...brb...ok, i ran my finger slightly across the fireplace top, and this is what i found:
yeah, so get the fuck off my dick and say something to perfect ben for a change. he does NOTHING around the house. NOTHING! occastionally he'll unload/load the dishwasher, but other than that...JACK SHIT. but then i get in trouble for not taking out the garbage when i was asked to...no, edit that...TOLD to. im honestly so sick of it here and the fact that they think theyre not a factor in my depression is just re-goddamn-diculous.
i should just jump off a bridge or something, theyd probably bitch at me for that too, so scratch that