My longest rant yet.
It has come to my attention a while ago that a lot of people need to be dead. Now, I don't want to be directly involved in killing someone useless (as most of today's youth are). There'd be too much legal bullshit to deal with. However, most of these people actually want to be dead. Many of them have even tried to kill themselves before. This makes my job a lot easier. All I'm here to do, is tell you some solid techniques on how to off yourself right the first time.
Firstly, you'd need to determine if suicide is right for you. This isn't a hard decision, 8 out of 10 people I've met should be dead. However, if you're unsure, reffer to this useful guide Nobody likes you. We'll start by covering the most popular methods. Here, you'll learn about overdoses, suffocation, hanging yourself and shooting yourself in the face. You'll learn to understand how these methods work and more importantly how to employ them in a way that's SURE to kill you.
OVERDOSE-
This is a tricky way to do it, there's no set limit to how much of a toxin your body can take. It's stupid to try to overdose on aspirin, go for the prescription medication. Take all of it. The whole bottle, if there's more than one bottle take those too. If you don't mind the pain, chug some drano while you're at it. The drano WILL hurt, it'll burn like a bitch, right through your guts. But hey, it'll get the job done. I'm not a huge expert on drugs. I am in favor of overdosing on Heroin, but I wouldn't be able to tell you how much to take. Ask your dealer, he'll be glad to sell you a lethal amount as long as you couch up the dough.
SUFFOCATION-
There's several ways to do this; drowning yourself, taping a bag over your head or gassing yourself in a garage. The latter is still technically suffocation, but it's the least violent (and painful) way to do it. To do this, you need a full tank of gas. Make sure the garage is fully closed, if there are windows close those too. Start the car, get drunk, overdose on something too just to be safe. After all, if you don't gas yourself properly, you'll just end up a pathetic vegetable, and that's even worse than what you are now. Drowning yourself isn't very easy, but if you've got your heart set on it, I'll try to help out. It's better to do this in a lake for several reasons. For one, it's way more hardcore, and it's all romantic and Ophelia-ish if you're into that. Smaller chance of getting caught and saved too. Get something rediculously heavy, this will take planning. If it was me, I'd drive a car into the lake with my neck tied to it. Why my neck? Well, it's a bitch to get something off your neck cause you can't see the knot and it might just suffocate you faster too. I would stay outside of the car though, so you wouldn't be able to stop it. I wouldn't reccomend the taping a bag over your head method, too easy to tear through and even if it did work, you'd look like a retard. Seriously, do you want people to see you like that?
HANGING-
A lot of people don't think this through. Hanging yourself from the ceiling isn't enough. There isn't much of a drop, so your neck won't break and you'll just suffocate. It'd be very uncomfortable. You'd need AT LEAST a 4 foot drop to break your neck. And that's not enough cause you people are pussies and wouldn't jump fast enough. I'd go with 8 feet. You have to add your height to that so you have hanging room. So...8 + 6 = 14 feet. It's not that easy to find something that tall to launch yourself from. Go for a tree. Now, as far as tying a noose...
Practice making one first, it's important that you get it right so it doesn't unravel.
SHOOTING-
I love this method. It's the most surefire way to do it. Personally, I've developed an attachment to my face, so I doubt I'd shoot myself in the head. The next best thing is the heart, but that takes some anatomical knowledge. Your heart is located in the center-left part of your chest. It's not as far left as you think, open a science book, draw an "x" where it should be and aim for that. However if you don't mind a little head wound, just go for that. Make sure the gun is centered so you don't end up just shooting off a chunk.
ANYONE can kill themselves. If you bitch about it regularly, shut the fuck up. Do it or don't. Yeah, if you do, people will be sad, but it's not their decision. There are people with bigger issues than fighting over boys or whatever dumb shit you children worry about. These ARE the best years of your lives. If you think they suck, think back to when you were 8. It seemed to suck then too, didn't it? The only reason your life sucks is cause you're not doing anything about it. You might think whatever you wanna do is hopeless so you don't even think about it. It's not, you're just lazy. Quit wasting air.
Firstly, you'd need to determine if suicide is right for you. This isn't a hard decision, 8 out of 10 people I've met should be dead. However, if you're unsure, reffer to this useful guide Nobody likes you. We'll start by covering the most popular methods. Here, you'll learn about overdoses, suffocation, hanging yourself and shooting yourself in the face. You'll learn to understand how these methods work and more importantly how to employ them in a way that's SURE to kill you.
OVERDOSE-
This is a tricky way to do it, there's no set limit to how much of a toxin your body can take. It's stupid to try to overdose on aspirin, go for the prescription medication. Take all of it. The whole bottle, if there's more than one bottle take those too. If you don't mind the pain, chug some drano while you're at it. The drano WILL hurt, it'll burn like a bitch, right through your guts. But hey, it'll get the job done. I'm not a huge expert on drugs. I am in favor of overdosing on Heroin, but I wouldn't be able to tell you how much to take. Ask your dealer, he'll be glad to sell you a lethal amount as long as you couch up the dough.
SUFFOCATION-
There's several ways to do this; drowning yourself, taping a bag over your head or gassing yourself in a garage. The latter is still technically suffocation, but it's the least violent (and painful) way to do it. To do this, you need a full tank of gas. Make sure the garage is fully closed, if there are windows close those too. Start the car, get drunk, overdose on something too just to be safe. After all, if you don't gas yourself properly, you'll just end up a pathetic vegetable, and that's even worse than what you are now. Drowning yourself isn't very easy, but if you've got your heart set on it, I'll try to help out. It's better to do this in a lake for several reasons. For one, it's way more hardcore, and it's all romantic and Ophelia-ish if you're into that. Smaller chance of getting caught and saved too. Get something rediculously heavy, this will take planning. If it was me, I'd drive a car into the lake with my neck tied to it. Why my neck? Well, it's a bitch to get something off your neck cause you can't see the knot and it might just suffocate you faster too. I would stay outside of the car though, so you wouldn't be able to stop it. I wouldn't reccomend the taping a bag over your head method, too easy to tear through and even if it did work, you'd look like a retard. Seriously, do you want people to see you like that?
HANGING-
A lot of people don't think this through. Hanging yourself from the ceiling isn't enough. There isn't much of a drop, so your neck won't break and you'll just suffocate. It'd be very uncomfortable. You'd need AT LEAST a 4 foot drop to break your neck. And that's not enough cause you people are pussies and wouldn't jump fast enough. I'd go with 8 feet. You have to add your height to that so you have hanging room. So...8 + 6 = 14 feet. It's not that easy to find something that tall to launch yourself from. Go for a tree. Now, as far as tying a noose...
Practice making one first, it's important that you get it right so it doesn't unravel.
SHOOTING-
I love this method. It's the most surefire way to do it. Personally, I've developed an attachment to my face, so I doubt I'd shoot myself in the head. The next best thing is the heart, but that takes some anatomical knowledge. Your heart is located in the center-left part of your chest. It's not as far left as you think, open a science book, draw an "x" where it should be and aim for that. However if you don't mind a little head wound, just go for that. Make sure the gun is centered so you don't end up just shooting off a chunk.
ANYONE can kill themselves. If you bitch about it regularly, shut the fuck up. Do it or don't. Yeah, if you do, people will be sad, but it's not their decision. There are people with bigger issues than fighting over boys or whatever dumb shit you children worry about. These ARE the best years of your lives. If you think they suck, think back to when you were 8. It seemed to suck then too, didn't it? The only reason your life sucks is cause you're not doing anything about it. You might think whatever you wanna do is hopeless so you don't even think about it. It's not, you're just lazy. Quit wasting air.