Marriage
So my cousin, Sara, is getting married in about two and a half weeks. It's really not so weird to me. They've been together for at least 4 years, maybe longer, she's 25, they're done with school, and they have stable jobs. It makes sense. But there are a number of people that get married and it just doesn't make sense, at least to me. And basically what's freaking me out about these marriages that aren't making sense is that they're all just so young.
Of course, for me, I feel like marriage would be absolutely ridiculous right now and would be for probably another 6 years. I want to be out of school and have a job. And, I feel like a guy for saying this, I don't want to be tied down so young. So it really makes me wonder what posesses people to marry so young. Here's what baffles me:
1. Why would you get married when you can't even support yourself? These people that are still in college make me dizzy. Maybe someone has a job, but even if one person is still in school, it doesn't seem financially sound to be spending more money than you're taking in. I would rather go into a marriage where both parties have stable jobs. My mom got married right out of high school and she was going to college while my dad worked. My grandparents would have paid for college if she didn't get married until she was done. So that was more debt for them and she didn't get the social life and experience college provides.
2. Why get married before 25? My mom was recently talking about this subject with me and how the brain isn't fully developed until age 25. It doesn't seem good to make such a final choice in life when your brain isn't done maturing. I feel like a lot of people get married and just aren't mature enough yet for that kind of commitment. Isn't there a study that says the chance of divorce goes down if you marry after age 28? My mom got married young and she wasn't herself yet and we all know how that went. I certainly don't feel like I'm fully ready to take on that sort of responsibility.
3. Why not wait? I'm not saying that you shouldn't marry each other, but what's the harm in waiting? If you're truly in love and you're relationship will last and so on, then that person isn't going anywhere. What's the big deal with getting married at 21 when you could wait until you're 26? I once asked my friend why a girl in my year at school got married. He said, "Because they love each other." I love Nick and he loves me, but I don't want to get married right now. Is it sex? I mean, it's ok if you want to wait until you're married to have sex, but that'd better not be the reason you're getting married. That much emphasis should not be put on sex. It's only making marriage just about sex and that's horrible. It's my personal view that people shouldn't wait because it's making sex too important. I think it should be between people in a committed, loving relationship, but it doesn't have to wait until marriage. And if you wait until marriage, what if it ends up that you don't have sexual chemistry? That would be awful. And it's less pressure. And if it's a religious reason, I can't see God not loving or forgiving you for not waiting (of course, I can't see God not loving or forgiving anyone).
Ok, so that's my deal. I mean, this is my personal opinion. Obviously, there are others that don't agree with me. I've never felt the need to get married. Maybe there's some feeling that comes that you can't ignore and you must marry. I don't know. I just hope it's not horniness.
Of course, for me, I feel like marriage would be absolutely ridiculous right now and would be for probably another 6 years. I want to be out of school and have a job. And, I feel like a guy for saying this, I don't want to be tied down so young. So it really makes me wonder what posesses people to marry so young. Here's what baffles me:
1. Why would you get married when you can't even support yourself? These people that are still in college make me dizzy. Maybe someone has a job, but even if one person is still in school, it doesn't seem financially sound to be spending more money than you're taking in. I would rather go into a marriage where both parties have stable jobs. My mom got married right out of high school and she was going to college while my dad worked. My grandparents would have paid for college if she didn't get married until she was done. So that was more debt for them and she didn't get the social life and experience college provides.
2. Why get married before 25? My mom was recently talking about this subject with me and how the brain isn't fully developed until age 25. It doesn't seem good to make such a final choice in life when your brain isn't done maturing. I feel like a lot of people get married and just aren't mature enough yet for that kind of commitment. Isn't there a study that says the chance of divorce goes down if you marry after age 28? My mom got married young and she wasn't herself yet and we all know how that went. I certainly don't feel like I'm fully ready to take on that sort of responsibility.
3. Why not wait? I'm not saying that you shouldn't marry each other, but what's the harm in waiting? If you're truly in love and you're relationship will last and so on, then that person isn't going anywhere. What's the big deal with getting married at 21 when you could wait until you're 26? I once asked my friend why a girl in my year at school got married. He said, "Because they love each other." I love Nick and he loves me, but I don't want to get married right now. Is it sex? I mean, it's ok if you want to wait until you're married to have sex, but that'd better not be the reason you're getting married. That much emphasis should not be put on sex. It's only making marriage just about sex and that's horrible. It's my personal view that people shouldn't wait because it's making sex too important. I think it should be between people in a committed, loving relationship, but it doesn't have to wait until marriage. And if you wait until marriage, what if it ends up that you don't have sexual chemistry? That would be awful. And it's less pressure. And if it's a religious reason, I can't see God not loving or forgiving you for not waiting (of course, I can't see God not loving or forgiving anyone).
Ok, so that's my deal. I mean, this is my personal opinion. Obviously, there are others that don't agree with me. I've never felt the need to get married. Maybe there's some feeling that comes that you can't ignore and you must marry. I don't know. I just hope it's not horniness.