1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 fuck
if i did it, god loves to put me out there. he loves for people to notice every single one of my fucking flaws, and when everyone else is crazy or doing shit to themselves that would "shock" people, they always seem to have perfect timing, they get time to hide it, things work out for them so they can always be their own destructive selves. but here comes anne, let's all look at her. what now. why is she upset now. let's take all that apart and analyze every little thing she's done, and ask her why why why. and when she can't answer us, let's always give her funny looks as if her self esteem isn't low enough. let's whisper just out of her reach even if we're NOT talking about her just so she can think we are, and gain even more negativ aspects about life in general. then let's act like we're here for her and care about her more then anything so she relaxes down, then out of nowhere some other day we turn all that back around so she falls even further down. yea that's a good idea.
if i do it. as long as i've waited for him to say i can go up there. for all the little nitches of WHY i can't go up there yet and how their supposed to make perfect sense to everyone else, as soon as i do it, i'll have to face him. he'll get some little mental stimulant that tells him to send me up there, and i'll go right into a trap. and i'll be the moron again. though we never talk about what the moron does, we just look at her and give her these little looks like we know she's a moron, but we're not gonna discuss it, cause nothings wrong with us, shes the one thats a moron and she'll always be a fucking moron.
i am aren't i.
now im responsible for fucking up someone else's life, 2 people actually, and i'm right on schedule with that. im doing a great fucking job rejecting them and turning them into those kinds of people that can't understand whats wrong with THEM because you don't raise people this way. but it happens. and i cant explain why it happens cause my mind is somewhere else, but it keeps happening. i keep having these anxiety things. attacks?? why do people call them attacks, it didn't attack me, it didn't suprise me, it's been building up for like forever and i felt it building up. things like this don't go away no matter how many times you count to fucking 10.
all i know is i want to hurt someone
most of all myself
honestly
no wonder people go crazy and do crazy stuff that ends them up in the news
i understand them more and more every day
i am a moron
if i do it. as long as i've waited for him to say i can go up there. for all the little nitches of WHY i can't go up there yet and how their supposed to make perfect sense to everyone else, as soon as i do it, i'll have to face him. he'll get some little mental stimulant that tells him to send me up there, and i'll go right into a trap. and i'll be the moron again. though we never talk about what the moron does, we just look at her and give her these little looks like we know she's a moron, but we're not gonna discuss it, cause nothings wrong with us, shes the one thats a moron and she'll always be a fucking moron.
i am aren't i.
now im responsible for fucking up someone else's life, 2 people actually, and i'm right on schedule with that. im doing a great fucking job rejecting them and turning them into those kinds of people that can't understand whats wrong with THEM because you don't raise people this way. but it happens. and i cant explain why it happens cause my mind is somewhere else, but it keeps happening. i keep having these anxiety things. attacks?? why do people call them attacks, it didn't attack me, it didn't suprise me, it's been building up for like forever and i felt it building up. things like this don't go away no matter how many times you count to fucking 10.
all i know is i want to hurt someone
most of all myself
honestly
no wonder people go crazy and do crazy stuff that ends them up in the news
i understand them more and more every day
i am a moron