I Changed
I changed all of a sudden or was it really all of a
sudden? I used to care about always happen people and being there for
folks, and I am not sure I care or want to do that anymore. I think I
am a bit cynical now due to my last relationship. I tried my damnedest to
save someone I thought I loved, and at best it was futile. Nothing
changed, same mistakes, same bullshit.
I am not sure another human being can ever truly save another human being from themselves. Maybe the only one who can truly save themselves is themself. As a fellow human being maybe all you can do is occasionally point them in the right direction, encourage, and support them. Maybe I am too tired or to worn down to really give a shit about helping others with their issues or problems. Not to be cold because I have had a lot of problems to deal with, but for the first time in a long time I feel like I am in the clear. I survived a lot, and finally I am together, and know where I am going. I hear most problems people have and they just seem so petty, and I wonder to myself why are they getting worked up about it.What classes should I take, I got a B instead of an A, I might need to do an extra semester, I am not sure if this guy/girl likes me, my parents won't let me have a car at school the first year or two, and all of the other petty shit. I honestly and earnestly want to give these folks some perspective on life and how miniscule these issues are in the grand scheme of life.
I mean trying watching your step dad and your mother die from cancer first hand, and then your grandma, and then lose your grandfather, your dad abusing you as a child, and manipulating you your whole life, deep and bad bouts of depression. When you have gone through everything that I have, not much can phase or worry you anymore, and maybe that is the point of life. So, much of what we worry about is not really that big, and maybe we just need to let go, worry less, and live more. Why spend our lives worrying about the littlest thing, and while we are doing that all of these fantastic, and amazing moments are passing by us. We are too busy worrying to grasp these incredible worries. Let go of the worry, and take the time to embrace life and really live.
I just hope that when people know what I have gone through that they cna realize most of their stuff is small, and should not cause them so much worry, and suck up so much of their time. In the end all we have is time, and the point of life is what we choose to do with that time. I ask what do you plan to do with your time?
I am not sure another human being can ever truly save another human being from themselves. Maybe the only one who can truly save themselves is themself. As a fellow human being maybe all you can do is occasionally point them in the right direction, encourage, and support them. Maybe I am too tired or to worn down to really give a shit about helping others with their issues or problems. Not to be cold because I have had a lot of problems to deal with, but for the first time in a long time I feel like I am in the clear. I survived a lot, and finally I am together, and know where I am going. I hear most problems people have and they just seem so petty, and I wonder to myself why are they getting worked up about it.What classes should I take, I got a B instead of an A, I might need to do an extra semester, I am not sure if this guy/girl likes me, my parents won't let me have a car at school the first year or two, and all of the other petty shit. I honestly and earnestly want to give these folks some perspective on life and how miniscule these issues are in the grand scheme of life.
I mean trying watching your step dad and your mother die from cancer first hand, and then your grandma, and then lose your grandfather, your dad abusing you as a child, and manipulating you your whole life, deep and bad bouts of depression. When you have gone through everything that I have, not much can phase or worry you anymore, and maybe that is the point of life. So, much of what we worry about is not really that big, and maybe we just need to let go, worry less, and live more. Why spend our lives worrying about the littlest thing, and while we are doing that all of these fantastic, and amazing moments are passing by us. We are too busy worrying to grasp these incredible worries. Let go of the worry, and take the time to embrace life and really live.
I just hope that when people know what I have gone through that they cna realize most of their stuff is small, and should not cause them so much worry, and suck up so much of their time. In the end all we have is time, and the point of life is what we choose to do with that time. I ask what do you plan to do with your time?