Diary of an Insomniac... (warning its a long one)
It is now Wednesday July 27, 2005. Still no sign of fatigue nor drymouth. No chance of drowsiness either. Last night I tried to go to sleep. Closed my eyes and everything and waited for the Great Sleep to take me. Sadly the Great Sleep was out having a joy ride with a few of his pals. Got up around 6:30 to find the walls were much closer than before and the ceiling lower. Also giant rabid rabbits were everywhere. Multiplying LIKE CRAZZY!! I informed my mother (yes the nun) of them but she told me I "needed some good old fashioned R N R". Poor woman. Those goddamm rabbits will get her first. I find myself in a daze and wondering where the hell am i? Throughout the day I shall update on my condition.
9:41 am- Watching Regis and Kelly. Just had breakfast: some bacon and a donut with some chocolate milk. I have begun to think that those fucking rabbits are contemplating a plan to take over the whole god damn house. The mother has left to get her hair done. All alone. I hear the sound of little bunny feet hopping down the stairs. Once I get my hands on those motherfuckers I’ll turn em into in cotton balls. I have begun watching A Fistfull of Dollars, directed by Sergio Leone, starring Clint Eastwood. If Clint isn’t careful those damn cotton tails will get him too. I will now formulate a plan of attack to take out the bastards. Wish me luck...
12:00 noontime- I have strategically left carrots throughout the house waiting for those FUCKING RABBITS! Still no sign of them yet but I know they’ll be coming and when they do I’ll be ready for those fuckers. FUCKING RABBITS! I have just eaten lunch: A coke and some ice cream. I find myself looking over my shoulder constantly. Took two sleeping pills about an hour ago. Nothing. Nothing at all. Still awake. Finished the movie. Think I’ll take a shower...
1:00 pm- I’ve begun to lose my command of the English language. Still no sleep. When speaking all that comes out is a series of mumbles and fragments of sentences. My speech is met with wide-eyed stares. I have reverted to communicating using a series of blinks and coughs. One for “yes” and two for “no”. Haven’t figured out what “maybe” is yet. The furry fiends are now laughing at me all the time. I turn a corner and there they are mocking my every move. I hate them so. I have constructed a fallout shelter in the event that the bastards bomb us...
3:00 pm- FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!!!! I JUST WANT SOME FUCKING SLEEP!!!! YOU FUCKING BASTARD BUNNIES ARE KEEPING ME FROM THE REST THAT I NEEEED!!! I WILLL KILL YOU ALL YOU FUCKING COTTONTAILS!!!A HA..AHAHA.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
3:10- Forgive me for my last update. Lack of sleep is starting to impair my judgement and reasoning skills. I have resorted to living in my fallout shelter and watching for the bunnies. They have formed two tribes: The Hammurabi and The Daffodils. I have recruited some of my old beanie baby comrades in the struggle against the two savage tribes. Soon I will be able to destroy them...but first finally sleep!SLEEP! HAHAHA!!
9:41 am- Watching Regis and Kelly. Just had breakfast: some bacon and a donut with some chocolate milk. I have begun to think that those fucking rabbits are contemplating a plan to take over the whole god damn house. The mother has left to get her hair done. All alone. I hear the sound of little bunny feet hopping down the stairs. Once I get my hands on those motherfuckers I’ll turn em into in cotton balls. I have begun watching A Fistfull of Dollars, directed by Sergio Leone, starring Clint Eastwood. If Clint isn’t careful those damn cotton tails will get him too. I will now formulate a plan of attack to take out the bastards. Wish me luck...
12:00 noontime- I have strategically left carrots throughout the house waiting for those FUCKING RABBITS! Still no sign of them yet but I know they’ll be coming and when they do I’ll be ready for those fuckers. FUCKING RABBITS! I have just eaten lunch: A coke and some ice cream. I find myself looking over my shoulder constantly. Took two sleeping pills about an hour ago. Nothing. Nothing at all. Still awake. Finished the movie. Think I’ll take a shower...
1:00 pm- I’ve begun to lose my command of the English language. Still no sleep. When speaking all that comes out is a series of mumbles and fragments of sentences. My speech is met with wide-eyed stares. I have reverted to communicating using a series of blinks and coughs. One for “yes” and two for “no”. Haven’t figured out what “maybe” is yet. The furry fiends are now laughing at me all the time. I turn a corner and there they are mocking my every move. I hate them so. I have constructed a fallout shelter in the event that the bastards bomb us...
3:00 pm- FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!!!! I JUST WANT SOME FUCKING SLEEP!!!! YOU FUCKING BASTARD BUNNIES ARE KEEPING ME FROM THE REST THAT I NEEEED!!! I WILLL KILL YOU ALL YOU FUCKING COTTONTAILS!!!A HA..AHAHA.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!
3:10- Forgive me for my last update. Lack of sleep is starting to impair my judgement and reasoning skills. I have resorted to living in my fallout shelter and watching for the bunnies. They have formed two tribes: The Hammurabi and The Daffodils. I have recruited some of my old beanie baby comrades in the struggle against the two savage tribes. Soon I will be able to destroy them...but first finally sleep!SLEEP! HAHAHA!!