(no subject)
I spoke to him yesterday. Finally.
He only had about 5 minutes to talk, though.
It went sort of like...
"Kayra?"
"...Ryder?"
"Is Kayra there?"
"This is Kayra. Who else would it be?"
"Kayra! I miss you so much!"
He was crying.
We talked about things, general crap like "how are you" shit. He's gotten the shit beat out of him twice already by kids there. They've also been feeding his brain bad thoughts of me leaving him because he isn't around. Which I would never do. He told them that and then when I wasn't answering my phone whenever he'd call, he started worrying that what they said was true. But I guess talking to me reassured him otherwise. I started crying. I was sitting in Shaun's living room. He hasn't received any of my letters yet. Well, neither have I. But anyway. Tomorrow we'll have been together for 6 months. Today I went out for breakfast with my dad and Valerie, and I just sort of sat there, staring at my french toast, thinking about when we first got together. Looking back, there were so many signs that we were meant to be together. That sounds so cheesy and all, I know, but it's true. It's how I know he's "the one." [hahaha Neo and Morpheus!] Just, everything. It's funny. I miss him so much.
The last time that I saw him, the 4th, he told me about this time before he left for Orange County early 2006 when I was walking around his neighbourhood with me. Jamian had called me and the last thing he said to me was "Have fun with emo-pants." and I guess I had been holding Ryder's hand, I kissed it and said "I will." I didn't remember that at all, which is why I know I didn't mean anything by it, but it meant a lot to Ryder, which is why it's still in his memory. We were best friends then. That was the day we bought donuts and went to the park with Shaun. I liked that day.
In other news, I'm really worried about Christian. We talked for a long time last night, and a lot of things hit me really hard. It's like...when we dated [my freshman year] and most of last year, I knew he had a lot of issues, but I was convinced that he was generally okay. At least he acted like it. He's a damn good actor. But since the end of last year, when we became like best friends, and I got to know him even more, I slowly started realizing that he's not as okay as he seems. At all. I love that boy to death, there are basically no secrets between us now, and it just...hurts. It hurts that I don't know how to help him. But I want to.
Maybe I shouldn't have written those things. Sigh. I just care about him so much.
I got pee.
He only had about 5 minutes to talk, though.
It went sort of like...
"Kayra?"
"...Ryder?"
"Is Kayra there?"
"This is Kayra. Who else would it be?"
"Kayra! I miss you so much!"
He was crying.
We talked about things, general crap like "how are you" shit. He's gotten the shit beat out of him twice already by kids there. They've also been feeding his brain bad thoughts of me leaving him because he isn't around. Which I would never do. He told them that and then when I wasn't answering my phone whenever he'd call, he started worrying that what they said was true. But I guess talking to me reassured him otherwise. I started crying. I was sitting in Shaun's living room. He hasn't received any of my letters yet. Well, neither have I. But anyway. Tomorrow we'll have been together for 6 months. Today I went out for breakfast with my dad and Valerie, and I just sort of sat there, staring at my french toast, thinking about when we first got together. Looking back, there were so many signs that we were meant to be together. That sounds so cheesy and all, I know, but it's true. It's how I know he's "the one." [hahaha Neo and Morpheus!] Just, everything. It's funny. I miss him so much.
The last time that I saw him, the 4th, he told me about this time before he left for Orange County early 2006 when I was walking around his neighbourhood with me. Jamian had called me and the last thing he said to me was "Have fun with emo-pants." and I guess I had been holding Ryder's hand, I kissed it and said "I will." I didn't remember that at all, which is why I know I didn't mean anything by it, but it meant a lot to Ryder, which is why it's still in his memory. We were best friends then. That was the day we bought donuts and went to the park with Shaun. I liked that day.
In other news, I'm really worried about Christian. We talked for a long time last night, and a lot of things hit me really hard. It's like...when we dated [my freshman year] and most of last year, I knew he had a lot of issues, but I was convinced that he was generally okay. At least he acted like it. He's a damn good actor. But since the end of last year, when we became like best friends, and I got to know him even more, I slowly started realizing that he's not as okay as he seems. At all. I love that boy to death, there are basically no secrets between us now, and it just...hurts. It hurts that I don't know how to help him. But I want to.
Maybe I shouldn't have written those things. Sigh. I just care about him so much.
I got pee.