(no subject)
He finally called me yesterday.
Of course, my phone was on vibrate and I missed it because I was fucking walking with Christian. He left me a message. His voice kept breaking and he sounded nervous. He said he loved me and will hopefully see me Tuesday. The worst part about this whole situation is knowing that I did the exact opposite of what I was trying to do. I tried to find him. So I left. If I had stayed, I could have gotten him out of there. before they got there...
And..the other part is thinking about where he is. What he's doing. How he feels. He must be terrified.
It's hard to sleep when thinking that he probably isn't.
It's hard to eat knowing that he probably isn't.
It's hard to laugh. It's hard to really enjoy anything.
Yesterday I talked to Choppy in the morning, which made me feel a little better. I went home with Christian (who paid for all of my bus fares because I have NO money whatsoever. I had to "borrow" $3 from Wilson at lunch.) and we looked up "juvenile detention centers" on the web(for numbers to try to call back, with little luck. We even called Heather's dad, who's a cop, but he didn't know, either.) I went to work with him and met his friends. He gave me a GIANT ICE CREAM.
A "love it" size of cake batter ice cream with brownies, cookie dough, rainbow sprinkles, graham cracker pie crust, and fudge. I feel like I missed something. Oh well. Point is, this baby was HUGE. But I was determined to eat it all, even though I already felt sick by the time I had 1/3. I hung around with him for an hour or so, he gave me a hug, and some more bus money, and I left. He really is a good friend. I feel like I probably don't appreciate him enough. Or show it, at least. Maybe tomorrow I'll make him pancakes. Yesss.
I'm at Aliza's. Always an adventure here. I love her.
Oh, and. I really might be leaving Notre Dame. I'm more determined than ever. I just need to find a decent school.
And. I'm getting the left side of my lip pierced, the right side of my nose pierced, and my left eyebrow double pierced. Yesss. This year. I'm going to cut off all of my nails and tape them so that I don't pick at my face. Because I LOVE picking at my face. Slowly but surely. I'm working on my insecurities. Goodnight, loves. Even though no one reads this. Except Taylor. I love you, Taylor.
Of course, my phone was on vibrate and I missed it because I was fucking walking with Christian. He left me a message. His voice kept breaking and he sounded nervous. He said he loved me and will hopefully see me Tuesday. The worst part about this whole situation is knowing that I did the exact opposite of what I was trying to do. I tried to find him. So I left. If I had stayed, I could have gotten him out of there. before they got there...
And..the other part is thinking about where he is. What he's doing. How he feels. He must be terrified.
It's hard to sleep when thinking that he probably isn't.
It's hard to eat knowing that he probably isn't.
It's hard to laugh. It's hard to really enjoy anything.
Yesterday I talked to Choppy in the morning, which made me feel a little better. I went home with Christian (who paid for all of my bus fares because I have NO money whatsoever. I had to "borrow" $3 from Wilson at lunch.) and we looked up "juvenile detention centers" on the web(for numbers to try to call back, with little luck. We even called Heather's dad, who's a cop, but he didn't know, either.) I went to work with him and met his friends. He gave me a GIANT ICE CREAM.
A "love it" size of cake batter ice cream with brownies, cookie dough, rainbow sprinkles, graham cracker pie crust, and fudge. I feel like I missed something. Oh well. Point is, this baby was HUGE. But I was determined to eat it all, even though I already felt sick by the time I had 1/3. I hung around with him for an hour or so, he gave me a hug, and some more bus money, and I left. He really is a good friend. I feel like I probably don't appreciate him enough. Or show it, at least. Maybe tomorrow I'll make him pancakes. Yesss.
I'm at Aliza's. Always an adventure here. I love her.
Oh, and. I really might be leaving Notre Dame. I'm more determined than ever. I just need to find a decent school.
And. I'm getting the left side of my lip pierced, the right side of my nose pierced, and my left eyebrow double pierced. Yesss. This year. I'm going to cut off all of my nails and tape them so that I don't pick at my face. Because I LOVE picking at my face. Slowly but surely. I'm working on my insecurities. Goodnight, loves. Even though no one reads this. Except Taylor. I love you, Taylor.