"the three R's"
So "the three R's" are:
-reading
-'riting
-'rithmetic
Gee, you ever think one of the reasons this country is full of idjits has at least something to do with the fact that TWO OF THE THREE R's DO NOT ACTUALLY START WITH R? I know, I know, "the R.W.A.'s" doesn't really have a nice ring to it. But still.
I love the English language. I love words. I love having access to these words, and constantly developing somewhat of an expansive vocabulary (if only to make an f-bomb that much more exciting. And shit). I think the dictionary is a more important book than the bible (that's *abridged* OR *unabridged*). But sometimes, just sometimes... I fuckin' hate the English language. And I wonder if "dickweed", a lost '80's word, is in the unabridged dictionary?
I just thought of what would probably be the dumbest clue in all of Wheel of Fortune history, in that category of overlapping phrases. They'll surely have to cancel it once this makes it to air:
Clue: Fast food restaurant and version of the bible.
Answer: Burger King James.
[audience: BOOOOOOOOO!]
And why on earth is a fast food restaurant called a restaurant? I guess they legally have to, since there are like, four walls and a door. But seriously, unless you're being served and the food is being actually cooked on the premises, I think at best, it should be referred to as a "fast food eatery." Eatery is a word *designed* for assocation with fast food. Just step inside a "Food Court."
Another tangent thought: if I was up against, say, bagels and lox in a food court, would I win if I could at least show reasonable doubt? [that was the worst excuse for an awful pun. Worst Pun of the Century, I say.]
Anyway, back to language. In that song that goes "Everybody plays the fool...", they then sing, "There's no except--shee-un to the rule." I beg to differ. Yes, I implore to vary. I plead to disagree. I simply ask to be dissimilar.
[That reminds me of a John Lennon nugget on The Beatles: Live at the BBC: "I'm John Lennon, and I too play the guitar, but sometimes, I play the fool."]
As my grandfather used to say:
"I before E except after C... that's WEIRD."
And as Dane Cook says:
"Acid spit-- I WANT THAT!"
And as auburn-locked Bill Burr (the comedian formerly known as Billy Burr) says:
"It's graduation, and I have orange hair!... Well what the hell's wrong with that?"
p.s. to Dane Cook- you are forgiven for the piece of cinematic action crap that was "Simon Sez" (really, "Sez"?) {which was of course more Dennis Rodman's fault than yours} if only because you managed to work your Chewbacca impression into it. I imagine the director was asleep anyway and didn't notice. You crafty sumbitch.
-reading
-'riting
-'rithmetic
Gee, you ever think one of the reasons this country is full of idjits has at least something to do with the fact that TWO OF THE THREE R's DO NOT ACTUALLY START WITH R? I know, I know, "the R.W.A.'s" doesn't really have a nice ring to it. But still.
I love the English language. I love words. I love having access to these words, and constantly developing somewhat of an expansive vocabulary (if only to make an f-bomb that much more exciting. And shit). I think the dictionary is a more important book than the bible (that's *abridged* OR *unabridged*). But sometimes, just sometimes... I fuckin' hate the English language. And I wonder if "dickweed", a lost '80's word, is in the unabridged dictionary?
I just thought of what would probably be the dumbest clue in all of Wheel of Fortune history, in that category of overlapping phrases. They'll surely have to cancel it once this makes it to air:
Clue: Fast food restaurant and version of the bible.
Answer: Burger King James.
[audience: BOOOOOOOOO!]
And why on earth is a fast food restaurant called a restaurant? I guess they legally have to, since there are like, four walls and a door. But seriously, unless you're being served and the food is being actually cooked on the premises, I think at best, it should be referred to as a "fast food eatery." Eatery is a word *designed* for assocation with fast food. Just step inside a "Food Court."
Another tangent thought: if I was up against, say, bagels and lox in a food court, would I win if I could at least show reasonable doubt? [that was the worst excuse for an awful pun. Worst Pun of the Century, I say.]
Anyway, back to language. In that song that goes "Everybody plays the fool...", they then sing, "There's no except--shee-un to the rule." I beg to differ. Yes, I implore to vary. I plead to disagree. I simply ask to be dissimilar.
[That reminds me of a John Lennon nugget on The Beatles: Live at the BBC: "I'm John Lennon, and I too play the guitar, but sometimes, I play the fool."]
As my grandfather used to say:
"I before E except after C... that's WEIRD."
And as Dane Cook says:
"Acid spit-- I WANT THAT!"
And as auburn-locked Bill Burr (the comedian formerly known as Billy Burr) says:
"It's graduation, and I have orange hair!... Well what the hell's wrong with that?"
p.s. to Dane Cook- you are forgiven for the piece of cinematic action crap that was "Simon Sez" (really, "Sez"?) {which was of course more Dennis Rodman's fault than yours} if only because you managed to work your Chewbacca impression into it. I imagine the director was asleep anyway and didn't notice. You crafty sumbitch.