Good eye sniper...
So, for those of you who haven't heard... I got pulled over the other night. First time... nothing serious, my break light, however, the events that ensued were complete insanity. The troopers WHIPPED up behind me, and then proceeded to light up my car with their searchlights... both of them. I felt bad for Bobby and Jon who were in my car, because now they were a little freeaked out. So the one trooper comes on my side... maglite in hand, shinging it in my face, hand on gun... and approaches my car. He comes up along side me and goes "Liscense and registration!" like he was some elite gestapo officer. So now I'm scared because I'm no longer sure it's the tailight he's oulling me over for. At that point Bobby is removed from the car and questioned on the sidewalk by the other officer. The trooper on my side asks me what I was drinking (I was drinking a Stinger energy drink)... and then requested to SEE THE CAN! He looked over the label at least 3 times... and then asked if I had added anything!! I mean what the hell!!! So now I'm just getting pissed off... on my floor is a candy wrapper. Detective Sandy-vagina, being the sleuth that he is, goes "Are those rolling papers!?" at which point I thre my arms into the air in disbelief. Deputy Cum-In-Eye his partner concurred that the Life-Savers wrapper looked like rolling papers. I then informed the observant enforcers of the law that it was a mere candy wrapper. Jon agreed saying "Yes... deffinitely a candy wrapper. Actually, could you throw this out for us officer?"... Now Sandy-Vagina asks the burning question... "Do you know what I stopped you for...?" And it took all my might not to blurt out "The body in my trunk and the bushel of weed?"... but I said... "Actually.. no I don't, sir?". "Brake light's out... get it fixed.. " Detective Sandy-Vagina barked ashe threw me back my ID and registration, and they drove off into the night.
Now our story doesn't end there. Last night, approximately the same time. Me and my good friend Eric Scalzo drive by Dunkin Donuts only to see my two new friends from the night before enjoying come cream-filled pastries in their khaki uniforms. So we walk in as they are leaving the counter. I stroll twoards the register, without moving from my path, and Detective Sandy-Vagina steps aside so he doesn't walk right into me. And as they got in their car... they stared at me... glared rather. All I did was wave and they left... So between getting pulled over and playing walking chicken with the same troopers... not too much new from last time...
Now our story doesn't end there. Last night, approximately the same time. Me and my good friend Eric Scalzo drive by Dunkin Donuts only to see my two new friends from the night before enjoying come cream-filled pastries in their khaki uniforms. So we walk in as they are leaving the counter. I stroll twoards the register, without moving from my path, and Detective Sandy-Vagina steps aside so he doesn't walk right into me. And as they got in their car... they stared at me... glared rather. All I did was wave and they left... So between getting pulled over and playing walking chicken with the same troopers... not too much new from last time...