roll it up in a ball and throw it in my face. hit me hard.
last night was very difficult. my moods took a 180 degree turn faster than it has ever happened before. it was actually kind of frightening to me. i was laughing and cheerful, then -BAM!- sobbing my eyes out. Anxiety has won the battle once again.
I wasn't mad at him. I tried letting him know that when i said "'night" instead of just signing offline. i hope he knew that... i just thought it would be a good idea to stop talking to him before things got worse...
today was depressing too. work was hell, as usual. Cindy was working. blah. i had to work back drive. *yay* i was so depressed. another blah. but kate and joel called me up a couple hours ago and we decided to call out of work tomorrow hahah. yeah good times. our excuses? kate (she is a manager there) said she will be at her grandmother's house (she wasnt working that day anyway)and joel said he was really sick, that he ate something wrong, and my excuse is that i have mental problems. haha (which isnt far from the truth...) and that my counselor needs to see me tomorrow to talk about meds to put me on and we couldnt schedule an appointment any other time.... lol yeah.... a little obvious that joel and i had the same shifts and we both called out but we really didnt want to get up in the morning and we really REALLY did not want to work with cindy for the 7 out of 8 hours we'd be there. that would SUCK. but.........i get my tougne pierced tomorrow!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will be honest. i feel really left out. i shouldnt hide my feelings anymore. all my friends are going to warped tour and nobody thought to invite me. okay that is all i am saying. its not a big deal. i just didnt want to hide my feelings because i think sometimes, that creates even more problems. so yeah.
well, hmm i guess i will go. everything else i want to say, i dont feel is such a good idea. so i guess i will just go. hm okay. this weekend should be fun though. i am looking forward to it. (can you believe it?!??)
I wasn't mad at him. I tried letting him know that when i said "'night" instead of just signing offline. i hope he knew that... i just thought it would be a good idea to stop talking to him before things got worse...
today was depressing too. work was hell, as usual. Cindy was working. blah. i had to work back drive. *yay* i was so depressed. another blah. but kate and joel called me up a couple hours ago and we decided to call out of work tomorrow hahah. yeah good times. our excuses? kate (she is a manager there) said she will be at her grandmother's house (she wasnt working that day anyway)and joel said he was really sick, that he ate something wrong, and my excuse is that i have mental problems. haha (which isnt far from the truth...) and that my counselor needs to see me tomorrow to talk about meds to put me on and we couldnt schedule an appointment any other time.... lol yeah.... a little obvious that joel and i had the same shifts and we both called out but we really didnt want to get up in the morning and we really REALLY did not want to work with cindy for the 7 out of 8 hours we'd be there. that would SUCK. but.........i get my tougne pierced tomorrow!!!!!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i will be honest. i feel really left out. i shouldnt hide my feelings anymore. all my friends are going to warped tour and nobody thought to invite me. okay that is all i am saying. its not a big deal. i just didnt want to hide my feelings because i think sometimes, that creates even more problems. so yeah.
well, hmm i guess i will go. everything else i want to say, i dont feel is such a good idea. so i guess i will just go. hm okay. this weekend should be fun though. i am looking forward to it. (can you believe it?!??)