"We've been through this, such a long, long time, just trying to kill the pain."
Last weekend, I lost my first love and longest boyfriend of my teenage years, who was still, after 35 years, one of my close friends.
We made plans in July to go see Guns N Roses. When we were 14, our "song" was "November Rain," and we had bonded over the band and used to play them all the time, wear the shirts, all the cheesy things you do when you're young and in first-love. A few days before the concert, we had a middle-of-the-night conversation about everything that had happened in our lives over the course of 35 years. We were happy to still be close friends but we were comparing battle scars of a hard life in the rustbelt. One thing we agreed on, friendship is one of the most undervalued things on the planet, in this life. He used to always tell me not to get all "teddy bear and hearts" on him, meaning, no poetry, not cheesy declarations of emotion. But, that night, he told me he loved me and was glad I touched his life like I had. I told him the same thing. I'm so glad that was our last conversation, if there had to be a last conversation. He had just celebrated his 46th birthday. I said to him "Here's to 46 more!" His response to me was "I'm just trying to make it to the concert, let's have realistic goals, love!" I laughed, because it sounded like a funny joke. I didn't know it was a serious and self fulfilling prophecy.
This region and it's vices have taken more of my friends than I can count anymore. Suicide or drug overdose, over and over.
A few days after that conversation, he died. I'm glad we had that conversation, but I'm in shock that we'll never have another one.
I'm so sad for his kids, he was the best, most attentive and upstanding father. I'm sad for his family, and for the world to lose another light. He was the most protective friend I'd ever had and would watch over everyone constantly.
Rest in Peace, Joshua. https://ellwoodcity.org/2023/08/29/joshua-shane-josh-hill-46/?fbclid=IwAR03xvuzfRMgCpSKPjiqTEDLyj5B39hdL6h7GAMQ5Ir_Mdf8OQG0gDdbAho
We made plans in July to go see Guns N Roses. When we were 14, our "song" was "November Rain," and we had bonded over the band and used to play them all the time, wear the shirts, all the cheesy things you do when you're young and in first-love. A few days before the concert, we had a middle-of-the-night conversation about everything that had happened in our lives over the course of 35 years. We were happy to still be close friends but we were comparing battle scars of a hard life in the rustbelt. One thing we agreed on, friendship is one of the most undervalued things on the planet, in this life. He used to always tell me not to get all "teddy bear and hearts" on him, meaning, no poetry, not cheesy declarations of emotion. But, that night, he told me he loved me and was glad I touched his life like I had. I told him the same thing. I'm so glad that was our last conversation, if there had to be a last conversation. He had just celebrated his 46th birthday. I said to him "Here's to 46 more!" His response to me was "I'm just trying to make it to the concert, let's have realistic goals, love!" I laughed, because it sounded like a funny joke. I didn't know it was a serious and self fulfilling prophecy.
This region and it's vices have taken more of my friends than I can count anymore. Suicide or drug overdose, over and over.
A few days after that conversation, he died. I'm glad we had that conversation, but I'm in shock that we'll never have another one.
I'm so sad for his kids, he was the best, most attentive and upstanding father. I'm sad for his family, and for the world to lose another light. He was the most protective friend I'd ever had and would watch over everyone constantly.
Rest in Peace, Joshua. https://ellwoodcity.org/2023/08/29/joshua-shane-josh-hill-46/?fbclid=IwAR03xvuzfRMgCpSKPjiqTEDLyj5B39hdL6h7GAMQ5Ir_Mdf8OQG0gDdbAho