I guess it's up to me to find a way to get to you...
I'm being reminded of The Passion of Joan of Arc where the one evil religious guy asks Joan if she's in a 'state of grace'. She replies, "If I am not, may God place me in it...and if I am, may God keep me so."
I love how she totally pwns those idiots with her answers.
I've been noticing what a selfish brat I am...for a while. I've always thought that because I didn't get a car for my sixteenth birthday, and I'm not an only child, somehow I automatically became selfless and sacrificial. Now I'm wondering what it would be like to actually spend a whole day doing nothing but working hard...not going for most of the day doing school/work/exercise and then blowing the night online, or deciding early in the day to "screw homework, I'm taking a nap," and finish my assignments at some unearthly hour, or whatever. Ugh.
I started My Utmost for His Highest, and it's amazing. It speaks to me so much, I want to hurl it across the room and scream, "But I LIKE apathy!"
And then there was Liquid...we were discussing perfection, and I found out how much crap I have in common with everyone else--it felt great. Every time I think I've outgrown the youth group, something like that happens, and I walk out feeling like I'm on endorphins.
We all know what's good for us--the problem is that we love ourselves too much to change.
I must be in a state of grace...how else could I have lasted this long?