Forward
It seems I have been standing at a crossroads for a little while now. The way forward is before me. But how to pursue forward? Perhaps the crossroads is not a crossroads at all, but it seems so to me at this point. There seems now to be the more obvious thing drawing nearer, though still lacking details. God spoke to me in this gap.
I am not to trust in the flimsy apparatus of human effort, no matter the good plans and the use God gets from it. I am to trust that even in the absence, or more properly in this case, the lack of details for the future, that God is in control.
I remember I wrote in my journal that came with me to Africa, soon after arriving there: "I am in a place where I do not know what will happen next and I'm excited for the future." I am here again, but my excitement is not what it was. I have lived this past year with a goal to be free of debt which thing was accomplished. Perhaps I got used to setting a goal and seeing it gradually met.
And here is my crossroads because it is surely no bad thing to plan or set goals. I guess my uneasiness with this crossroads rests in the freedom I have now to set a new goal. God does not always set goals for us, but expects us to trust Him as we plan. It is God's to fulfill the plan He has set for us and ours to trust and obey.
And so I do. I have been trusting even in the midst of the uncertainty of my freedom. I trust God has used this past year to shape me in good ways, to prepare me for the next turn in the road, to make me more fit a saint in His kingdom. I trust Him in the freedom He has won for me to walk in, that He will steer me right. I trust Him that even if my road should go hard with me, that He still has done it, still is with me, still loves and still leads.
I am not to trust in the flimsy apparatus of human effort, no matter the good plans and the use God gets from it. I am to trust that even in the absence, or more properly in this case, the lack of details for the future, that God is in control.
I remember I wrote in my journal that came with me to Africa, soon after arriving there: "I am in a place where I do not know what will happen next and I'm excited for the future." I am here again, but my excitement is not what it was. I have lived this past year with a goal to be free of debt which thing was accomplished. Perhaps I got used to setting a goal and seeing it gradually met.
And here is my crossroads because it is surely no bad thing to plan or set goals. I guess my uneasiness with this crossroads rests in the freedom I have now to set a new goal. God does not always set goals for us, but expects us to trust Him as we plan. It is God's to fulfill the plan He has set for us and ours to trust and obey.
And so I do. I have been trusting even in the midst of the uncertainty of my freedom. I trust God has used this past year to shape me in good ways, to prepare me for the next turn in the road, to make me more fit a saint in His kingdom. I trust Him in the freedom He has won for me to walk in, that He will steer me right. I trust Him that even if my road should go hard with me, that He still has done it, still is with me, still loves and still leads.