Parents' Labor Day Weekend
Yesterday was my parents' labor day party. I was there for a good 14 hours drinking, chasing toddlers, scolding teenagers, cooking, disciplining dogs, cleaning up, helping my grandmother, and finally sitting down with Nermander and her new boyfriend for a few hours when they showed up.
My little goddaughter, Alyssa, is adorable and I'm doing my best to corrupt her to loving to read. (I'm horrible, I know) Since the day she was born Scott and I have made sure that every gift/present has included both a toy of some sort and a TON of books. I love buying kids books. They're so fun! I gave Alyssa her first "horsie" book yesterday and we sat and read that while she played with her "Tolar Bear!" (she couldn't quite get Polar out right)
I find it amusing though, that my uncle wanted her to have an irreligious me as a "godmother". Of course, she has my uber religious cousins as her godparents too. I already told Tammy back when I agreed to it that she could take care of the god-stuff I'd take care of other things and overlap with everything else.
Of course, I have no intention of forcing my beliefs on the little one. But I do intend on making her aware of the world around her in more ways than just religion. That's what the books are for. Of course, right now they're horsie books, and puppy books, and polar bears, and teddy bears, and spongebob!
Got into a heated discussion with my uncle Jay last night about raising kids and the best way to do it. It wasn't a bad discussion by any means, but I tend to be very passionate about a few things, and most of my dad's family hasn't seen me "passionate" I tend to laugh, be quiet, and polite. I don't think a number of them know how to take me from day to day. They're good people, but there's just so many of them. 7 brothers and sisters, then the spouses and the kids, and the kids' spouses and their kids...
Anyway, Jay and I were chattering with mom and dad at the end of the night and he was saying how he and his wife had differing opinions on when to be strict with their children. I'm amused at how many parents think children don't understand, or don't know what's going on. I have to agree that they don't always know what's going on in the same way that an adult does, but children are aware. They are human beings, even when they're young, and when they're young they're even more susceptible to societal and familial changes than when they're older. They're attuned to the adults in their lives and so many adults either ignore this, forget it, or just don't ever seem to consider it.
I guess, my point of view on it all is that parents are there to teach their children how to function in the society around them. Parents don't have to agree with that society, they don't even have to like the culture or multiple sub-cultures out there, but eventually those children are going to leave the parents behind. You can't protect a child 24/7/365 until the day they die. That's not how life works. So the best you can do is to teach them to be honest with themselves, and arm them with knowledge in how to best protect themselves.
A number of the girls that I grew up with also came from broken homes. We all hung out together from the time of 1st grade on. K had an older brother and a single mom. C had a stepdad, a sister, and her mom. Ka had both parents, a twin and an older brother but her parents were never home. Of the four of us C and I were the only ones at graduation that hadn't had children. Of the four of us K and I were the only ones that weren't addicted to an illegal substance by the time we were 15.
I don't think it necessarily makes me special. I do think that my mother and how I was raised had a lot to do with it. It's not like i didn't hang out with these girls and that our friends weren't the same groups of people. They were. I eventually grew away from that and met the group of people that eventually introduced me to Scott, but that was another story. I was raised to think of the consequences of all my actions. While I was growing up I was taught that i always had a choice, but that each choice had a consequence. Sometimes, if the choice was a good one I'd get a good consequence. If the choice was bad I'd get punished. As I got older the consequences were less grounding or punishment by my mother, but by society itself.
I don't always agree with society. there are a number of things that our society does that i think are downright abhorrent. And there are a number of things that i think we do rather well.
I guess what I'm saying is that when you raise a child to take care of themselves in the long run, it doesn't mean that they'll never need you, but that you're doing the best by them to help them get by in the world beyond them. I was raised to think for myself, and I was given the knowledge to help make the right choices. As well as the ability to discern the right choices from the wrong choices. It doesn't mean I always make the right choices (I wish), but I acknowledge that when i don't make the right one that it's no one's fault but my own. And therefore, it's my responsibility to deal with the consequences and try to turn it around to the right choice.
And this became waaaay too long.
Both dogs are exhausted today. Val fell asleep with her head in the most uncomfortable position ever last night. It was adorable. (I moved her so that she wouldn't have a sore neck today) She's crashed out hardly moving today. It's always amusing when val works herself into exhaustion. Not because she's tired, but because she was padding around from group of people to group of people yesterday begging, checking to make sure the kids were all behaving, hovering around the two little toddler girls... She was one busy dog :)
In other news...
I have an interview tomorrow morning for a job working as a stable hand. It's part time, but will be something fun that I've wanted to do forever to tide me over while I get the rest of my life in check. I also start training tomorrow as a presenter for another job that's part time. Still searching for a career though. I can't help but think that I'm somewhere between over-educated and under-educated. *shrug* Oh wells
Hope you all had a good labor day weekend too!
My little goddaughter, Alyssa, is adorable and I'm doing my best to corrupt her to loving to read. (I'm horrible, I know) Since the day she was born Scott and I have made sure that every gift/present has included both a toy of some sort and a TON of books. I love buying kids books. They're so fun! I gave Alyssa her first "horsie" book yesterday and we sat and read that while she played with her "Tolar Bear!" (she couldn't quite get Polar out right)
I find it amusing though, that my uncle wanted her to have an irreligious me as a "godmother". Of course, she has my uber religious cousins as her godparents too. I already told Tammy back when I agreed to it that she could take care of the god-stuff I'd take care of other things and overlap with everything else.
Of course, I have no intention of forcing my beliefs on the little one. But I do intend on making her aware of the world around her in more ways than just religion. That's what the books are for. Of course, right now they're horsie books, and puppy books, and polar bears, and teddy bears, and spongebob!
Got into a heated discussion with my uncle Jay last night about raising kids and the best way to do it. It wasn't a bad discussion by any means, but I tend to be very passionate about a few things, and most of my dad's family hasn't seen me "passionate" I tend to laugh, be quiet, and polite. I don't think a number of them know how to take me from day to day. They're good people, but there's just so many of them. 7 brothers and sisters, then the spouses and the kids, and the kids' spouses and their kids...
Anyway, Jay and I were chattering with mom and dad at the end of the night and he was saying how he and his wife had differing opinions on when to be strict with their children. I'm amused at how many parents think children don't understand, or don't know what's going on. I have to agree that they don't always know what's going on in the same way that an adult does, but children are aware. They are human beings, even when they're young, and when they're young they're even more susceptible to societal and familial changes than when they're older. They're attuned to the adults in their lives and so many adults either ignore this, forget it, or just don't ever seem to consider it.
I guess, my point of view on it all is that parents are there to teach their children how to function in the society around them. Parents don't have to agree with that society, they don't even have to like the culture or multiple sub-cultures out there, but eventually those children are going to leave the parents behind. You can't protect a child 24/7/365 until the day they die. That's not how life works. So the best you can do is to teach them to be honest with themselves, and arm them with knowledge in how to best protect themselves.
A number of the girls that I grew up with also came from broken homes. We all hung out together from the time of 1st grade on. K had an older brother and a single mom. C had a stepdad, a sister, and her mom. Ka had both parents, a twin and an older brother but her parents were never home. Of the four of us C and I were the only ones at graduation that hadn't had children. Of the four of us K and I were the only ones that weren't addicted to an illegal substance by the time we were 15.
I don't think it necessarily makes me special. I do think that my mother and how I was raised had a lot to do with it. It's not like i didn't hang out with these girls and that our friends weren't the same groups of people. They were. I eventually grew away from that and met the group of people that eventually introduced me to Scott, but that was another story. I was raised to think of the consequences of all my actions. While I was growing up I was taught that i always had a choice, but that each choice had a consequence. Sometimes, if the choice was a good one I'd get a good consequence. If the choice was bad I'd get punished. As I got older the consequences were less grounding or punishment by my mother, but by society itself.
I don't always agree with society. there are a number of things that our society does that i think are downright abhorrent. And there are a number of things that i think we do rather well.
I guess what I'm saying is that when you raise a child to take care of themselves in the long run, it doesn't mean that they'll never need you, but that you're doing the best by them to help them get by in the world beyond them. I was raised to think for myself, and I was given the knowledge to help make the right choices. As well as the ability to discern the right choices from the wrong choices. It doesn't mean I always make the right choices (I wish), but I acknowledge that when i don't make the right one that it's no one's fault but my own. And therefore, it's my responsibility to deal with the consequences and try to turn it around to the right choice.
And this became waaaay too long.
Both dogs are exhausted today. Val fell asleep with her head in the most uncomfortable position ever last night. It was adorable. (I moved her so that she wouldn't have a sore neck today) She's crashed out hardly moving today. It's always amusing when val works herself into exhaustion. Not because she's tired, but because she was padding around from group of people to group of people yesterday begging, checking to make sure the kids were all behaving, hovering around the two little toddler girls... She was one busy dog :)
In other news...
I have an interview tomorrow morning for a job working as a stable hand. It's part time, but will be something fun that I've wanted to do forever to tide me over while I get the rest of my life in check. I also start training tomorrow as a presenter for another job that's part time. Still searching for a career though. I can't help but think that I'm somewhere between over-educated and under-educated. *shrug* Oh wells
Hope you all had a good labor day weekend too!