(no subject)
Give me the chance and I will take advantage of you.
I hit a racoon on my way a little while ago. It ran out in front of me as I was racing around this curve. Almost like it knew I was coming. It seemed like the racoon just ran out on purpose just so I can hit it. I know I killed it by the sound of my little car rolling over it. I know he did it on purpose. I know he wanted me to hit him. I dont really know if I feel bad for doing it at all. I know its fucked up, but I think the worst part about hitting the little fucker is not being able to turn around and watch it die. I remember I hit a cat in my old neighborhood one time. Fucking thing darted off right underneath my tire, same tire that I hit the racoon with. I knew I had hit the cat, so I turned around and watched it lay there with its ribs caved in. I saw it stuggling to breath, I couldnt help but to wonder what the cat was thinking. Was he blaming me for hitting him? Or was he thanking me? As I was lost in my thoughts, I quickly was distracted by the sight of the cats last breath. What was left of the cats side expanded as far as it could go with the one last breath it had, and slowly collapsed back down. I just watched the cat die. Helplessly. Maybe I did it a favor, maybe Im the one to blame. Whatever it was, I did it. It was me. On the way back to my house I couldnt help but to think of the little child the cat belonged to. How the child would walk out to their school bus like any other ordinary day, and stop dead in their tracks at the site of their cat laying dead in the middle of the street. I ruined a childs day when I hit the cat. The child probably cried the entire day at school. Because of me. Its kind of funny how things that we do, affect someone else life. Maybe this kid really loved that cat, the kid woke up the next morning finding something that he really loved dead in the middle of the road right in front of his eyes. Maybe their first experience with death. I introduced a child to the death of a loved one....
Im not feeling sad about all of this, Im just thinking about the cause and effect of anything we do as we live our everyday lives. Is it fate? or destiny? free will? or coincidence? Why do events in our lives take place when they do? What are we supposed to learn from them? If we all learn from something, can we prevent it from ever happening again?
Its 10 till 5 in the morning right now, I have taken almost 20 minutes to type this goddamn thing, and I dont even know if I have said what I wanted to say in the first place.
Would you rather be hit by a car, or be the person driving?
Then why do we feel guilt?
Goodnight.
I hit a racoon on my way a little while ago. It ran out in front of me as I was racing around this curve. Almost like it knew I was coming. It seemed like the racoon just ran out on purpose just so I can hit it. I know I killed it by the sound of my little car rolling over it. I know he did it on purpose. I know he wanted me to hit him. I dont really know if I feel bad for doing it at all. I know its fucked up, but I think the worst part about hitting the little fucker is not being able to turn around and watch it die. I remember I hit a cat in my old neighborhood one time. Fucking thing darted off right underneath my tire, same tire that I hit the racoon with. I knew I had hit the cat, so I turned around and watched it lay there with its ribs caved in. I saw it stuggling to breath, I couldnt help but to wonder what the cat was thinking. Was he blaming me for hitting him? Or was he thanking me? As I was lost in my thoughts, I quickly was distracted by the sight of the cats last breath. What was left of the cats side expanded as far as it could go with the one last breath it had, and slowly collapsed back down. I just watched the cat die. Helplessly. Maybe I did it a favor, maybe Im the one to blame. Whatever it was, I did it. It was me. On the way back to my house I couldnt help but to think of the little child the cat belonged to. How the child would walk out to their school bus like any other ordinary day, and stop dead in their tracks at the site of their cat laying dead in the middle of the street. I ruined a childs day when I hit the cat. The child probably cried the entire day at school. Because of me. Its kind of funny how things that we do, affect someone else life. Maybe this kid really loved that cat, the kid woke up the next morning finding something that he really loved dead in the middle of the road right in front of his eyes. Maybe their first experience with death. I introduced a child to the death of a loved one....
Im not feeling sad about all of this, Im just thinking about the cause and effect of anything we do as we live our everyday lives. Is it fate? or destiny? free will? or coincidence? Why do events in our lives take place when they do? What are we supposed to learn from them? If we all learn from something, can we prevent it from ever happening again?
Its 10 till 5 in the morning right now, I have taken almost 20 minutes to type this goddamn thing, and I dont even know if I have said what I wanted to say in the first place.
Would you rather be hit by a car, or be the person driving?
Then why do we feel guilt?
Goodnight.