surgery
After months of unexplainable knee pain, I finally went and got surgery. The result is that there's really nothing they can do about my knee pain. My doctor felt I had a tear in one of my muscles or tendens that could easily be repaired. As it turns out, my knee cap slides around a bit. This causes me a lot of pain, but apparently there is nothing that can be done about it. I had surgery to release my patella and keep it in place ten years ago, and apparently that surgery does not undo itself.
The thing is, I've more or less had knee pain for the ten years since my surgery. It's just that in the last six months it had become nearly unbearable. So bad that after eight hours of working, all I wanted to do was sit at home and ice my knee. I made little to no effort to see my friends and family, watched way too much television, and often cried because the pain was so bad. I signed up for surgery because I thought I had no other option.
So now it's a week after my surgery. I used vacation time for missing work so that I could still pay my rent, I have to pay a $150 co-payment, and my knee is no different than before. It's actually worse, because now I have to recover from the surgery. I'm mad at myself for going through this, and I'm mad because there is really no hope that my knee will get better.
Yesterday my doctor said to me "you've been through a lot worse; this is really no big deal in the scope of things." I know that after a few more weeks, my knee will have healed from the surgery. I know I've been through much worse. I'm just frustrated.
The thing is, I've more or less had knee pain for the ten years since my surgery. It's just that in the last six months it had become nearly unbearable. So bad that after eight hours of working, all I wanted to do was sit at home and ice my knee. I made little to no effort to see my friends and family, watched way too much television, and often cried because the pain was so bad. I signed up for surgery because I thought I had no other option.
So now it's a week after my surgery. I used vacation time for missing work so that I could still pay my rent, I have to pay a $150 co-payment, and my knee is no different than before. It's actually worse, because now I have to recover from the surgery. I'm mad at myself for going through this, and I'm mad because there is really no hope that my knee will get better.
Yesterday my doctor said to me "you've been through a lot worse; this is really no big deal in the scope of things." I know that after a few more weeks, my knee will have healed from the surgery. I know I've been through much worse. I'm just frustrated.