It's not as weird as it sounds; or, God Bless You, Mr. Bell
Last night I threw up for kicks. I was in one of those nervous anxiety nightmares, one of those existential boredom things that just calls for rash action. In short, I was desperate for something to do, and once the idea of intentional vomiting crossed my mind, it was just inevitable that I try. I have some weird harmonic of the Mountaineer's Principle: If it can be done, then shit, why not, and do you have any better ideas?
Anyway, I think the experience can best be described as an extreme example of a difference of opinion. I have this idea of reality, and it's by definition absolute, I mean reality is reality and that's that. And then all of a sudden I'm surrounded by this different concensus, this different but equally absolute middle-aged midwestern reality, and it induces leaves me feeling lost. You see, I think of reality as this visceral body thing; everyone else I've run into, though, over the past two weeks at least, understands reality as being more about weather, maybe livestock. You can understand, then, how I might come to feel adrift.
So tonight I didn't need to throw up on purpose. I ate Taco Bell earlier, and it made me do a vicious shit, like one of those full-body shits that bellows out a tremorous, high-resolution sonogram of your deepest chambers. An educational nightmare shit. And it felt very very real. It really grounded me a lot.
Anyway, I think the experience can best be described as an extreme example of a difference of opinion. I have this idea of reality, and it's by definition absolute, I mean reality is reality and that's that. And then all of a sudden I'm surrounded by this different concensus, this different but equally absolute middle-aged midwestern reality, and it induces leaves me feeling lost. You see, I think of reality as this visceral body thing; everyone else I've run into, though, over the past two weeks at least, understands reality as being more about weather, maybe livestock. You can understand, then, how I might come to feel adrift.
So tonight I didn't need to throw up on purpose. I ate Taco Bell earlier, and it made me do a vicious shit, like one of those full-body shits that bellows out a tremorous, high-resolution sonogram of your deepest chambers. An educational nightmare shit. And it felt very very real. It really grounded me a lot.