Master plan.
Okay, so I graduate at the end of this quarter. I want to run from this apartment and this city and this state so shit, why not the country?
So I've decided, and I've totally thought this out ultra-careful, like for almost a minute if you count the time I was paying attention to something else, and I've decided: I'm moving to London.
Pros:
- It sounds totally hip and everything to be like, "oh, I'm moving to London"
- Way more girls with British accents
- Bonus: I'll have an accent, which will make me seem like 10x sexy, like Hugh Grant is a total troll but women are like juicing all over him just because I have an accent.
- I can be like "oh I'm an artist," and instead of saying "no you're not you're just a dumbass" they'll say "no you're not you're just a pratt" which is way cooler.
- Don't have to wait for new episodes of Coupling.
Cons:
- Probably not so many corner taco shops.
- The plane ticket should leave me pretty much broke.
Of course, any plane ticket anywhere will leave me pretty close to broke, without enough to pay for more than a month's rent anywhere. Even staying here, I can live for a month and pay no rent. Granted, all of this is because I can't find a job and that applies anywhere because I'm too ugly for non-grunt labor and too flimsy for grunt labor and not smart enough to day anything that's none of the above, BUT in Britain I can probably lay the Young American sauce on some hot hot employer lady and get a job washing sheep stains off of farmers or something. You know, yarble me jangle work. The shit they do over there.
Yeah, this is so the best idea I've ever had, in a long list of best ideas I've ever had.
So I've decided, and I've totally thought this out ultra-careful, like for almost a minute if you count the time I was paying attention to something else, and I've decided: I'm moving to London.
Pros:
- It sounds totally hip and everything to be like, "oh, I'm moving to London"
- Way more girls with British accents
- Bonus: I'll have an accent, which will make me seem like 10x sexy, like Hugh Grant is a total troll but women are like juicing all over him just because I have an accent.
- I can be like "oh I'm an artist," and instead of saying "no you're not you're just a dumbass" they'll say "no you're not you're just a pratt" which is way cooler.
- Don't have to wait for new episodes of Coupling.
Cons:
- Probably not so many corner taco shops.
- The plane ticket should leave me pretty much broke.
Of course, any plane ticket anywhere will leave me pretty close to broke, without enough to pay for more than a month's rent anywhere. Even staying here, I can live for a month and pay no rent. Granted, all of this is because I can't find a job and that applies anywhere because I'm too ugly for non-grunt labor and too flimsy for grunt labor and not smart enough to day anything that's none of the above, BUT in Britain I can probably lay the Young American sauce on some hot hot employer lady and get a job washing sheep stains off of farmers or something. You know, yarble me jangle work. The shit they do over there.
Yeah, this is so the best idea I've ever had, in a long list of best ideas I've ever had.