i have NEVER been so happy...

Apr 12, 2004 12:16

last month started a totally new point in my life ( Read more... )

Leave a comment

yourluckystars April 20 2004, 00:25:46 UTC
honestly rikki, you really should be a little more selective about what you say about me. if you want to say bad things about me, that’s fine, but don't say things that can easily be proven to be false. you say that you're hurt that i let anthony talk shit on you. well, i have deadaim logs that prove otherwise. i have proof of how i tried to contact you (both deadaim logs & actual people) & when you say that i avoided you, perhaps you're mixing me up with yourself. you said that retreating back away from people is your coping mechanism & that is fine, but the moment that you avoided us & then turned around & said that i was the one doing the avoiding, then that's something i have to respond to.

i’m not trying to carry this on any longer, but i won't sit back and let you smear my good name. i'm a good person & i was a good person to you. i had your back, even after you hurt me & didn’t care. don't you ever deny that. when people were talking shit on you, i stuck up for you. sorry that i didn't run & tell you everytime i did that. honestly, if i did, i'd have been doing a lot of running.

i can go on & on with examples, but you won't ever get it. it's not all your fault, i agree with that, but you are deep in denial about your faults. your own family called you selfish, & these are people that are close to & know you, & yet instead of looking at yourself & taking in the criticism, all you did was realize how much it hurt & then subjected a “friend” of yours to the same thing.

none of the girls really go to shows as much as we did before, & even when you hung out with us we were straying away from that. we still love the music, we always will because it brought us all together. we won't ever just "move on" or "get over" it & it's not just a "phase" to us. we don't treat anything we truly love in that way, especially friends. maybe that's what this is about: the fact that you're not like us. you can twist that around any way that you want & say "yeah i'm not a backstabber like you are" but let's just take the issue of anthony.

i loved that guy more than just a friend, & more than just a crush, & i loved you so much that i gave him to you, with barely a fight. you call that selfish? you knew i liked him, & your excuse of "well you like a lot of guys" doesn't fly with me. why? because even if i liked him a tiny itty bitty bit, you still should have thought about my feelings instead of just your own. that's what friends do. there's millions of guys out there, so even if i liked 100 guys, a real friend could have easily avoided those 100 guys. yeah anthony could have stayed away from you too, but at least he was able to admit his wrongs & we were able to work through that drama. you can call him all the names you want, but the fact that he & i have been through years of friendship & this drama & we're still together means more than you'll ever know, because when anything goes wrong, your first instinct is to bust out your infamous avoidance method.

Reply


Leave a comment

Up