Loneliness
I think that there is a problem that is widespread across campus and even widespread across the whole dang country that nobody likes to talk about or even pretend is there. I’ve only noticed this year how many lonely people that there are on campus. I’m not just referring to the guy or girl who everyone sees is always by themselves but the kind of loneliness that plague even Mr. or Ms. Personality or Mr. or Ms. Involvement. And people in relationships are not immune from this epidemic. In fact, some of the loneliest people I know are in committed relationships. But I’ve talked to people who feel like their friends abandoned them. There are people who just don’t seem to fit in. There are those who feel like they have quirks about them that isolate them. Whatever the problem is, it rarely changes for these people. I ask a dear friend of mine who suffers from chronic loneliness why she thought that people who are not lonely don’t reach out to the outsiders. She said that she thought that they didn’t reach out because they just didn’t know what it felt like to be lonely. I asked myself why people don’t reach out to the lonely and I came up with a list of why I and others don’t reach out:
- What will everyone else think of me if I reach out to them?
- Nobody else talks to them so there must be some reason why.
- The person might be really annoying.
- I know them and we just wouldn’t get along if I tried to get to know them.
- I’m an introvert. (This is my number one reason why I don’t reach out more.)
- God hasn’t led me to interact with them. (I hate this reason the most.)
- I just don’t have time for any more relationships or friendships.
- What if the person just wants to be alone?
- What will the person think of me? I don’t want them to feel like I pity them.
- This person might think that I’m interested in more than friendship.
- They’ll become needy or dependent and I can’t handle that.
- Lonely people? I thought everyone had tons of friends.
- The person probably already has many unseen friends. (This might be true, but I am not sure that such a thing should always be assumed.)
So what have I left out? Why do you not get to know those who seem to not know anyone else? Are any of these good excuses? If you read this, please respond and also consider thinking about the issue as you go about your daily activities. I’m also interested in knowing if you think that I’ve made this problem up in my mind or if I’ve blown something out of scope. The next few journal entries will deal with this concept but I want to know what kind of thoughts and feelings people have about this issue if it is even an issue.