Stupid
Why does school always push me to my mental limit? I took yesterday off of schoolwork to spend the morning and early afternoon with my mom and grandma, do loads of laundry, clean my apartment, and make an excellent mix for my best friend. I find all of these things important and not just frivolous wasting of time. As a punishment, I got lambasted by shit from my classes today. Most crushing were the results of my AIDS and Society midterm. I studied for the midterm for an entire week. I went to two two-hour review sessions. I kept up with all of the readings, which in itself is quite an accomplishment. I went to every class except for one, and paid close attention at each one, taking copious notes. I tried to go through most of the study guide--admittedly, I didn't make it through the whole thing, but it was, admittedly, about 10 pages long. What questions I didn't thoroughly answer by hand, I tried to at least look at to make sure I wasn't missing anything.
As a reward for all of my studies, I got a D+ on the midterm. Now I can't decide whether I am just stupid or whether the test was unfair. I do know that I haven't felt this inadequate in a long time. I realize education is a privilege, and I love to learn. But I also respect my life outside of the university walls, and I can't stand it when school impinges on it. After a certain point, I have to meltdown, because I can only do so much.
As a reward for all of my studies, I got a D+ on the midterm. Now I can't decide whether I am just stupid or whether the test was unfair. I do know that I haven't felt this inadequate in a long time. I realize education is a privilege, and I love to learn. But I also respect my life outside of the university walls, and I can't stand it when school impinges on it. After a certain point, I have to meltdown, because I can only do so much.