(no subject)
I'm terrified....
I leave for uni next saturday. I havent done half the stuff I need to. I don't have any money. I dont have a clue about my university. I havent read the stuff I need to have read by now.
But what is scaring me most, or at least, what is constantly on my mind at the moment, is the up and coming seperation I face with Mike....
It's not cause I don't trust him...really. I mean...I've kind of learnt to muster my outbursts of jealousy...It's more...I'm just going to miss him so damn much.
And I'm so scared that when he goes off to uni and makes all his cool new friends, he won't miss me as much. And that he won't attempt to contact me as much as I want to contact him...or just...I don't know...I'm scared of losing him to his fresh start I suppose....I just..I cant make myself believe that everything will be okay.
I just...I guess I want reassurance that he's going to miss me as much as I'm going to miss him.
We are going out tomorrow night for our "anniversary" meal (even though its not really an anniversary at all, cause its not a year) cause it's on the 16th, but he leaves on the 15th...
I know I'm going to be devastated. Absolutely devastated....
Its all I keep thinking about...
I'm so pathetic.
I leave for uni next saturday. I havent done half the stuff I need to. I don't have any money. I dont have a clue about my university. I havent read the stuff I need to have read by now.
But what is scaring me most, or at least, what is constantly on my mind at the moment, is the up and coming seperation I face with Mike....
It's not cause I don't trust him...really. I mean...I've kind of learnt to muster my outbursts of jealousy...It's more...I'm just going to miss him so damn much.
And I'm so scared that when he goes off to uni and makes all his cool new friends, he won't miss me as much. And that he won't attempt to contact me as much as I want to contact him...or just...I don't know...I'm scared of losing him to his fresh start I suppose....I just..I cant make myself believe that everything will be okay.
I just...I guess I want reassurance that he's going to miss me as much as I'm going to miss him.
We are going out tomorrow night for our "anniversary" meal (even though its not really an anniversary at all, cause its not a year) cause it's on the 16th, but he leaves on the 15th...
I know I'm going to be devastated. Absolutely devastated....
Its all I keep thinking about...
I'm so pathetic.