Red head again
I'm dying my hair even as we speak (are we speaking?). So I thought in honor of my red hair I should post some Scots jokes.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Because it's easier to run with your kilt up than your pants down.
What do you wear under your kilt?
Your mother's lipstick.
String -- I had to tie it up so it didn’t hang below the kilt.
Sorry, I'm a bit shy and not much good with words. Give me your hand...
WHY DO THEY CALL IT A KILT?"
'Cause that's what I did to the last guy who called it a skirt!
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from 40 feet away.
Lassie: What's worn under your kilt?
Lad: Nothing, it all works just fine
Lassie: What do you where under your kilt good sir?
Laddie: The same thing as every good Scot my lady, boots
Speaking of Kilts: How do you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to?
Look under the kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald!
Whats the difference between the Rolling Stones, and a shepherd on the Isle of Skye?
One says hey you get off my cloud, the other says hey MacLeod get off me ewe!
What do ya call a Scotsman with a sheep under one arm and a pig under the other?
Bi-Sexual
What do ya call a Scotsman with one sheep?
Married
What do ya call a Scotsman with two sheep?
PIMP
Three Scotswomen are walking home at night (they are neighbors) and find a scotsman passed out partially under a wagon. His upper body is under the wagon and they can't see who he is; however, they would like to help him get home.
The first woman looks under his kilt and says, "It's not my husband".
The second woman looks under his kilt and says, It's not my husband".
The third woman looks under his kilt and says, "Why he's not even from our village!"
Ookay, that was super.
Time to go see just how red my head is.
Happy Tuesday!
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Because it's easier to run with your kilt up than your pants down.
What do you wear under your kilt?
Your mother's lipstick.
String -- I had to tie it up so it didn’t hang below the kilt.
Sorry, I'm a bit shy and not much good with words. Give me your hand...
WHY DO THEY CALL IT A KILT?"
'Cause that's what I did to the last guy who called it a skirt!
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Because sheep can hear a zipper from 40 feet away.
Lassie: What's worn under your kilt?
Lad: Nothing, it all works just fine
Lassie: What do you where under your kilt good sir?
Laddie: The same thing as every good Scot my lady, boots
Speaking of Kilts: How do you tell what clan a Scotsman belongs to?
Look under the kilt, if it's a quarter-pounder, he's a McDonald!
Whats the difference between the Rolling Stones, and a shepherd on the Isle of Skye?
One says hey you get off my cloud, the other says hey MacLeod get off me ewe!
What do ya call a Scotsman with a sheep under one arm and a pig under the other?
Bi-Sexual
What do ya call a Scotsman with one sheep?
Married
What do ya call a Scotsman with two sheep?
PIMP
Three Scotswomen are walking home at night (they are neighbors) and find a scotsman passed out partially under a wagon. His upper body is under the wagon and they can't see who he is; however, they would like to help him get home.
The first woman looks under his kilt and says, "It's not my husband".
The second woman looks under his kilt and says, It's not my husband".
The third woman looks under his kilt and says, "Why he's not even from our village!"
Ookay, that was super.
Time to go see just how red my head is.
Happy Tuesday!