(no subject)
I hate having to deal with other people.
No offense, I love you all, it's just that other people make things so much more complicated. I have to accommodate the feelings of others. I have to gauge how much merit I should hold in the opinions of others.
When you're alone, you can feel self righteous and not feel guilty at all. You're alone. Of course you're the one who matters the most.
I still contend that you must first take responsibility for yourself before you can hope take responsibility for those around you. But being forced to adjust to other people once again has been an arduous process. I'm thinking thoughts that I have not trespassed into in ages. I am, for the first time in a long time, beginning to feel lonely as a result of the gulf between myself and other people.
Still, I'm glad to be back. Perhaps I lost the ability to feel. Right now, I am maelstrom of love and rage, compassion and loneliness. I am many things. But I should not lose sight of what is important. The greatest of all human traits is love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
Being forced to love anybody beyond myself is exhausting. I'm not used to it anymore. I don't mean this in a self serving kind of way. I literally had very few opportunities to express love while attending PLU. But I do love you all, and I will do what I can.
No offense, I love you all, it's just that other people make things so much more complicated. I have to accommodate the feelings of others. I have to gauge how much merit I should hold in the opinions of others.
When you're alone, you can feel self righteous and not feel guilty at all. You're alone. Of course you're the one who matters the most.
I still contend that you must first take responsibility for yourself before you can hope take responsibility for those around you. But being forced to adjust to other people once again has been an arduous process. I'm thinking thoughts that I have not trespassed into in ages. I am, for the first time in a long time, beginning to feel lonely as a result of the gulf between myself and other people.
Still, I'm glad to be back. Perhaps I lost the ability to feel. Right now, I am maelstrom of love and rage, compassion and loneliness. I am many things. But I should not lose sight of what is important. The greatest of all human traits is love. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves.
Being forced to love anybody beyond myself is exhausting. I'm not used to it anymore. I don't mean this in a self serving kind of way. I literally had very few opportunities to express love while attending PLU. But I do love you all, and I will do what I can.