just a realization...
Just this day, I've had a realization. It pains more to know that the only thing you're holding on seems to be slowly drifting away from your grasp. Yes, it's like someone just took away your most lovable pillow/toy since you were a kid and though it's hard to see it drift, it is the reality. Little by little, I realized that falling in love with a friend can be the most beautiful thing but the most painful of all. It just hit me in the face. Apparently, the hardest part of the story is what if the only thing you're holding on is the friendship but it slowly left you? I guess it's the most painful experience I've had. This one person has always been a very close friend of mine but apparently just after a semester a lot of things have changed. He became a more social person meeting and talking with different people and I respect that because that was what I wanted him to become but it somehow made me sad because now it seems that what we used to do everyday is left undone. Now, I see him so close to someone else and it hurts so much. It was not the fact that I like him that pains my heart so much but it's the fact that he is close with another person. And what is more painful is when you see them two do the things we used to do. The deteriorating friendship is probably more hurting that the fact that he likes someone else. I guess I can accept the fact that he will never like me because I am not pretty anyway but then the friendship that was formed for like a year or so was just there. Hanging. Now, I can't seem to know what to do with my life and how to face this problem. I just hope that one day, this feeling would leave me and I will get my life back.