Thunderrrrrrr
You know when someone in high school gives you a bad time and your mum says "don't listen to them, they're just jealous of you?". Remember the entire feeling. Yes, the entire 'this woman is crazy' thought, the not really taking that into account ever again and the sound belief that that simply isn't true.
Well. I have never, ever felt someone was jealous of me. From my shrink telling me that was the reason for my mother's behaviour way back when I was just an excuse of a zombified human being to all of those friends I dropped in high school because they got bored and liked getting on my case ("yay let's be mad at Steph!"). Until now, of course.
There's this girl at work. Let's call her DeludedIdiot. DeluldedIdiot is a pretty twenty-six year old that joined the company as a software tester, same way people generally do. She did her three-month long internship and was then moved to my team, under my supervision if you will. She had problems with another tester there and kept getting on my nerves about how this other guy 'didn't like her *mopemope*'.
Being the manager in charge, I did my best to try and make things better so she could work in a better environment, despite the fact that there was something completely off about DeludedIdiot that bothered me to no end (back then, Lu had some theory concerning queen bees and pathetic little social climbers, but I didn't really listen now, did I?).
Of course, I'm Product Manager. I'm supposed to work alone, independently, while the entire Development Team does their work, supervised by a Project Manager and then reports to me, I check stuff, send it back. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, we were missing a Project Manager, so at first, I was a sad pathetic excuse for one. Until PompousAss came into the picture.
You guys know about PompousAss, he's the bastard from work. And, until recently, the Project Manager of my team. He got superbly along with DeludedIdiot, which was always odd, but the entire team just thought it was cause of her bra size.
In any case, PompousAss first got on mine (hehe see what I did there?). That is, until I had the company's CEO have a chat with him that seemed to calm him down enough to leave me alone. But of course, stupid people always need someone to pick on, it's Playground Behaviour 101. Next kid on the sandbox: Alpha.
Alpha ended up quitting, despite many prior chats with me in which I kept telling him to calm down and no, please don't storm out of the office yet, talk to the CEO, he listens, trust me, I've been there. He quit anyway. However, imagine my surprise when I walk into my boss's office for an evaluation and hear the following infamous words:
"It has been brought to my attention, by a member of your team, that the only reason Alpha quit was because you kept nagging him about PompousAss and drove him into quitting".
Huh?
At that time, I assumed PompousAss had been doing some serious conniving. And I was mad and baffled and couldn't believe my ears. But I kept quiet, because that's what little ditzy girls who went to really posh schools and live in the snobby part of the city do. You know, incompetent girls like me who have their jobs because, well, obviously someone must know my parents, or maybe I even slept with someone to get my job.
With Alpha out of the way, all the attetion turned to someone else: Richard. Yes, I'm done even trying hiding their names. In any case, Richard was told a couple of weeks ago that the company was not happy with his perfomance and would be given a month to improve, even if odds were that he was going to be relocated to some other part of the company.
I found out about this about a week later. How? Well, I asked Richard if something was wrong because DeludedIdiot told me Richard seemed 'sad'. He told me about it, downstairs and well away from all ears. He was really mad about it all, because thinking about it later, he saw signs that someone was totally making him look bad. He had talked about it with DeludedIdiot and blamed it on PompousAss. I started getting weary. One by one, all the people on my team were abandoning it due to some reason or other. Still, I tell him to suck it up and produce amazingly awesome work this month and make them all shut their faces. And please, get a nerve.
We went back upstairs. Now, things have changed in the office lately. We now have one of those fingerprint thingies we need to pass when we get into work and when we leave. So, joking around back at my desk, I say "don't worry, Richard, they're just waiting for you to miss fingerprinting into work one day so they can sack you". Ha-ha.
Last Thursday, PompousAss tells us he's going back to the core team and putting someone else in his place. Three guesses. Yeah, DeludedIdiot. From tester to Project Manager. She must be doing something right.
The entire Richard ordeal kept lingering in my mind. When something bothers me, I talk to my friends. Since most of my friends who would understand this also, well, work with me, I chose who I told very carefully. And so I told two people I knew would not tell anything, because they've proven to be quite secretive in the past (come on guys, laugh with me at this): gd and tb. I told tb about this in my car, taking him home. I told gd over msn.
Last Friday comes around and tb tells me to go downstairs with him when he's leaving. I do and he tells me PompousAss came to talk to him today. About what? He apparently first cleared that the chat was confidential and asked tb if I had mentioned something concerning Richard to him at all. tb said 'no' of course, 'why?'. 'Well, she's been talking about it with people in the office all week and inventing stuff, filling up people's minds'.
Hmm. My first reaction: "oh God, they're sniffing our msn conversations!". My second reaction: "wait... what? How is paraphrasing what PompousAss talked about with Richard 'inventing stuff'?".
So, yesterday, Richard talks to me, confidentially of course. Did you tell anyone? Yeah, I did. Who? Tb. "Okay, cause DeludedBitch told me she went to PompousAss and told him about the fingerprinting joke you said the other day as if it were something real".
We keep on talking. Remember the evaluation comment, the one about me driving someone away and making them quit? I never told anyone about this (except tb and gd, of course). I kind of told Richard that day he told me, so he would be careful about talking to me. Well, DeludedBitch apparently told Richard "be careful about Steph, she was the one who drove Alpha to quit".
So, that's what's been going on here.
Oh, and she realized I found out, the second I quit being all edgy and paranoid. That's why she spent all Monday trying to boss me around as if she even were my boss. I'm not scared. Nope, not at all. I do admit I get a bit nervous whenever I see her at PompousAss desk, talking and looking at our direction five times a day, but I'm not scared. At all.
You see, DeludedBitch, let me tell you something about myself. Yes, I live in the snobby part of the city. And yes, I went to a posh school. But, dear, that does not make me incompetent. Far from it.
In fact, you know how I'm prettier than you and get along with everyone better than you and how I can joke around with hot guys from the 6th floor in the elevator without bursting into giggles (like you did... remember how stupid you told me you felt?)?
Remember that time in which I said high school was a lot like Mean Girls and whoever didn't think so hadn't gone to my school?
Remember all those times we both jokingly agreed I sucked at my job yet, during the Product Management course we both took I kept assuming a teacher's role and presenting the best work?
There's a lot you don't know about me. Remember when you told me you liked tb? Hmm? And all those times you blatantly hit on tb? Remember all those times you hit on gd? (Oh, how do I know? Figure it out :D.)
After agreeing on you being, quite evidetly, a huge bitch, Richard asked me not to do anything too obvious. I reminded him where I came from. And want to know what he did? He laughed and said "this ought to be good".
You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Ask PompousAss why he no longer gets on my nerves. Still think it's because of the CEO's little chat? Do me a favour, ask him about his second job.
I'm a perfectly nice person, honestly, I am. I'm even nice to everyone based on the benefit of the doubt. But that's only because I would feel too guilty if I messed with everyone - not because I'm soft-hearted, mind you. I'm that good at messing around. Blame my posh dog-eat-dog high school you think makes me permanently blonde :D.
Oh, what it is that I'm going to do? Nothing. You'll do it to yourself. Funny how life works out like that. Always.
In other news, the Arctic Monkey's Brianstorm is getting to me. I can honestly feel my brain (not brian lololol) going "Thunderrrrrr" every seven minutes. Yes.
Well. I have never, ever felt someone was jealous of me. From my shrink telling me that was the reason for my mother's behaviour way back when I was just an excuse of a zombified human being to all of those friends I dropped in high school because they got bored and liked getting on my case ("yay let's be mad at Steph!"). Until now, of course.
There's this girl at work. Let's call her DeludedIdiot. DeluldedIdiot is a pretty twenty-six year old that joined the company as a software tester, same way people generally do. She did her three-month long internship and was then moved to my team, under my supervision if you will. She had problems with another tester there and kept getting on my nerves about how this other guy 'didn't like her *mopemope*'.
Being the manager in charge, I did my best to try and make things better so she could work in a better environment, despite the fact that there was something completely off about DeludedIdiot that bothered me to no end (back then, Lu had some theory concerning queen bees and pathetic little social climbers, but I didn't really listen now, did I?).
Of course, I'm Product Manager. I'm supposed to work alone, independently, while the entire Development Team does their work, supervised by a Project Manager and then reports to me, I check stuff, send it back. Sounds pretty easy, right? Well, we were missing a Project Manager, so at first, I was a sad pathetic excuse for one. Until PompousAss came into the picture.
You guys know about PompousAss, he's the bastard from work. And, until recently, the Project Manager of my team. He got superbly along with DeludedIdiot, which was always odd, but the entire team just thought it was cause of her bra size.
In any case, PompousAss first got on mine (hehe see what I did there?). That is, until I had the company's CEO have a chat with him that seemed to calm him down enough to leave me alone. But of course, stupid people always need someone to pick on, it's Playground Behaviour 101. Next kid on the sandbox: Alpha.
Alpha ended up quitting, despite many prior chats with me in which I kept telling him to calm down and no, please don't storm out of the office yet, talk to the CEO, he listens, trust me, I've been there. He quit anyway. However, imagine my surprise when I walk into my boss's office for an evaluation and hear the following infamous words:
"It has been brought to my attention, by a member of your team, that the only reason Alpha quit was because you kept nagging him about PompousAss and drove him into quitting".
Huh?
At that time, I assumed PompousAss had been doing some serious conniving. And I was mad and baffled and couldn't believe my ears. But I kept quiet, because that's what little ditzy girls who went to really posh schools and live in the snobby part of the city do. You know, incompetent girls like me who have their jobs because, well, obviously someone must know my parents, or maybe I even slept with someone to get my job.
With Alpha out of the way, all the attetion turned to someone else: Richard. Yes, I'm done even trying hiding their names. In any case, Richard was told a couple of weeks ago that the company was not happy with his perfomance and would be given a month to improve, even if odds were that he was going to be relocated to some other part of the company.
I found out about this about a week later. How? Well, I asked Richard if something was wrong because DeludedIdiot told me Richard seemed 'sad'. He told me about it, downstairs and well away from all ears. He was really mad about it all, because thinking about it later, he saw signs that someone was totally making him look bad. He had talked about it with DeludedIdiot and blamed it on PompousAss. I started getting weary. One by one, all the people on my team were abandoning it due to some reason or other. Still, I tell him to suck it up and produce amazingly awesome work this month and make them all shut their faces. And please, get a nerve.
We went back upstairs. Now, things have changed in the office lately. We now have one of those fingerprint thingies we need to pass when we get into work and when we leave. So, joking around back at my desk, I say "don't worry, Richard, they're just waiting for you to miss fingerprinting into work one day so they can sack you". Ha-ha.
Last Thursday, PompousAss tells us he's going back to the core team and putting someone else in his place. Three guesses. Yeah, DeludedIdiot. From tester to Project Manager. She must be doing something right.
The entire Richard ordeal kept lingering in my mind. When something bothers me, I talk to my friends. Since most of my friends who would understand this also, well, work with me, I chose who I told very carefully. And so I told two people I knew would not tell anything, because they've proven to be quite secretive in the past (come on guys, laugh with me at this): gd and tb. I told tb about this in my car, taking him home. I told gd over msn.
Last Friday comes around and tb tells me to go downstairs with him when he's leaving. I do and he tells me PompousAss came to talk to him today. About what? He apparently first cleared that the chat was confidential and asked tb if I had mentioned something concerning Richard to him at all. tb said 'no' of course, 'why?'. 'Well, she's been talking about it with people in the office all week and inventing stuff, filling up people's minds'.
Hmm. My first reaction: "oh God, they're sniffing our msn conversations!". My second reaction: "wait... what? How is paraphrasing what PompousAss talked about with Richard 'inventing stuff'?".
So, yesterday, Richard talks to me, confidentially of course. Did you tell anyone? Yeah, I did. Who? Tb. "Okay, cause DeludedBitch told me she went to PompousAss and told him about the fingerprinting joke you said the other day as if it were something real".
We keep on talking. Remember the evaluation comment, the one about me driving someone away and making them quit? I never told anyone about this (except tb and gd, of course). I kind of told Richard that day he told me, so he would be careful about talking to me. Well, DeludedBitch apparently told Richard "be careful about Steph, she was the one who drove Alpha to quit".
So, that's what's been going on here.
Oh, and she realized I found out, the second I quit being all edgy and paranoid. That's why she spent all Monday trying to boss me around as if she even were my boss. I'm not scared. Nope, not at all. I do admit I get a bit nervous whenever I see her at PompousAss desk, talking and looking at our direction five times a day, but I'm not scared. At all.
You see, DeludedBitch, let me tell you something about myself. Yes, I live in the snobby part of the city. And yes, I went to a posh school. But, dear, that does not make me incompetent. Far from it.
In fact, you know how I'm prettier than you and get along with everyone better than you and how I can joke around with hot guys from the 6th floor in the elevator without bursting into giggles (like you did... remember how stupid you told me you felt?)?
Remember that time in which I said high school was a lot like Mean Girls and whoever didn't think so hadn't gone to my school?
Remember all those times we both jokingly agreed I sucked at my job yet, during the Product Management course we both took I kept assuming a teacher's role and presenting the best work?
There's a lot you don't know about me. Remember when you told me you liked tb? Hmm? And all those times you blatantly hit on tb? Remember all those times you hit on gd? (Oh, how do I know? Figure it out :D.)
After agreeing on you being, quite evidetly, a huge bitch, Richard asked me not to do anything too obvious. I reminded him where I came from. And want to know what he did? He laughed and said "this ought to be good".
You have no idea what you're getting yourself into. Ask PompousAss why he no longer gets on my nerves. Still think it's because of the CEO's little chat? Do me a favour, ask him about his second job.
I'm a perfectly nice person, honestly, I am. I'm even nice to everyone based on the benefit of the doubt. But that's only because I would feel too guilty if I messed with everyone - not because I'm soft-hearted, mind you. I'm that good at messing around. Blame my posh dog-eat-dog high school you think makes me permanently blonde :D.
Oh, what it is that I'm going to do? Nothing. You'll do it to yourself. Funny how life works out like that. Always.
In other news, the Arctic Monkey's Brianstorm is getting to me. I can honestly feel my brain (not brian lololol) going "Thunderrrrrr" every seven minutes. Yes.