(no subject)
1. The Classic- stories at breakfast the morning after. Apparently you had quite the night, but you don't remember a damn thing.
2. The "Aw Fuck"- You drunkenly call your ex and confess your never dying love to him/her. You realize this when they call you the next day about that date you promised. Aw fuck.
3. The "What is this tube doing in my arm"- you wake up in the hospital. Fighting the biggest guy you could find seemed like a good idea at the time...
4. The Empty Condom Wrapper- you might have had the best sex of your life last night...except you couldn't feel it at the time, and you definately can't remember if it was good or not (nor can you remember your mystery bedmate's name, damn)
5. The Wet Wakeup- you wake up covered in either pee or puke or both, and you're not even sure if it's yours. Lovely.
6. The Kodak Moment- pictures, proof that you're a drunken idiot.
7. The Ink- waking up realizing the Dave Matthews Band logo is tattooed across your back is not exactly the way you like to start your days. You don't even like Dave.
8. The "I thought with cruise control you didn't have to steer"- great. now theres a hole in your car to match the hole in your head. Good one, dumbass.
9. The "I thought this yellow paper was a thank you note"- nice citation, slowbus. The cop was not making small talk with you, and that straight line you walked, yeah, that wasn't hopscotch. This is gonna look great on your resume.
10. The All-Time Favorite- you wake up with your clothes on, no idea where the fuck you are, and digging into your pockets to find your cell phone to call a ride, you find: 2 dollar bills, soaking wet and crumbled up; your driver's license (useless); a bottle cap; a receipt for 6 taquitos and bag of munchies from 7eleven; and a gum wrapper, which is crumpled around old gum. and no cell phone. Start walkin, bitch.
2. The "Aw Fuck"- You drunkenly call your ex and confess your never dying love to him/her. You realize this when they call you the next day about that date you promised. Aw fuck.
3. The "What is this tube doing in my arm"- you wake up in the hospital. Fighting the biggest guy you could find seemed like a good idea at the time...
4. The Empty Condom Wrapper- you might have had the best sex of your life last night...except you couldn't feel it at the time, and you definately can't remember if it was good or not (nor can you remember your mystery bedmate's name, damn)
5. The Wet Wakeup- you wake up covered in either pee or puke or both, and you're not even sure if it's yours. Lovely.
6. The Kodak Moment- pictures, proof that you're a drunken idiot.
7. The Ink- waking up realizing the Dave Matthews Band logo is tattooed across your back is not exactly the way you like to start your days. You don't even like Dave.
8. The "I thought with cruise control you didn't have to steer"- great. now theres a hole in your car to match the hole in your head. Good one, dumbass.
9. The "I thought this yellow paper was a thank you note"- nice citation, slowbus. The cop was not making small talk with you, and that straight line you walked, yeah, that wasn't hopscotch. This is gonna look great on your resume.
10. The All-Time Favorite- you wake up with your clothes on, no idea where the fuck you are, and digging into your pockets to find your cell phone to call a ride, you find: 2 dollar bills, soaking wet and crumbled up; your driver's license (useless); a bottle cap; a receipt for 6 taquitos and bag of munchies from 7eleven; and a gum wrapper, which is crumpled around old gum. and no cell phone. Start walkin, bitch.