LITTLE MISS MARY, Part Twenty-Seven
...In an attempt to redeem myself for an immensely stupid badfic_quotes post ("compleat" LOOKED like a spelling error, I swear!), more Little Miss Mary. Continued from the end of last time, switching back to me-as-sporker. (...Just suppose Albus and Gellert took a break. :D;;)
==
Sirius tried so hard to be the best godfather he could be that I bit my tongue a dozen times each week. Thank goodness he and Remus discovered they loved each other while taking their annual vacation in the Swamp of OOCness. I secretly thought they were glad I was taken care of so they could go off on a honeymoon involving many giggles, sparkles, and squeals of "Siri!" and "Remy!". Severus had been so good about not hexing Sirius, I rewarded him every week with extra special love making.
W. H. O. R. E.
Seriously, that is prostitution! "Don't hex Sirius, and you'll be 'rewarded' with extra-special sex"?! Dude...
His torture session the last time he'd gone to a Death Eater meeting had scared me badly. But it brought Poppy into our secret and that was a big help. I didn't feel comfortable talking to Minerva about girl things
(Canon!McGonagall) ...Mr. Potter, WHY are you asking me about "girl things"? ...Does this... have something to do... with your newfound closeness... to Professor Snape? ...I'm telling Dumbledore.
and Hermione was right out of the question.
(Canon!Hermione) Harry? Are you all right? Did you confuse me with Emma Watson again?
But Poppy answered all my questions and gave me new things to think about.
(Canon!Pomfrey) Harry... do you know what "sexual abuse" and "child grooming" are?
She showed me a pensieve Pensieve memory about a birth she'd helped with and it made me think twice about getting pregnant.
But after a lot of thought, I still thought babies were OMG TEH COOLEST AND KEWTEST THINGS EVAR - what do you mean, they grow up? What do you mean, I have to take care of them? What do you mean, babies put a damper on the ol' sex life? BABIEEEEEEEEEEEES! wanted to and she promised to help sporkers in anySPACEway she could. That made me feel a lot better about our future, because I was a dimwitted, emotionally five-years-old faux-delicate-little-girl 'boy' who'd lose an intelligence contest with Ariana Dumbledore, even if Ariana wandered off halfway through the contest and blew up the stage. (She'd also win the "competence at functioning independently" contest.) We had the entire western coast of Great Britain to add to our ward gridhorehouse COMMA! but first we were going home to York to relax for three weeks. We'd gone to Lincoln first and I turned into Mary for the first time since last summer.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand here we go back to raw author-masturbation material. The pretense of a plot was nice while it lasted, I suppose...
{snip Harry changing into schoolgirl uniform and growing his hair out and Snape changing into jeans and a sweater and cutting his hair}
I stuck my tongue out at him but his long arm reached out like a tentacle and wrestled me into his lap, squishing and slurping as it did so. His lips opened mine with a crowbar and his hot tongue surged into me. ...Dude, isn't that description usually used for semen? O_o I melted at once into a puddle, and the sporkers began to sing:
DING-DONG THE WITCH... WIZARD... THINGY IS DEAD,
DING-DONG THE STUPID SUE/STU IS DEAD,
DING-DONG THE STUPID SUE/STU IS DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Then it reformed, much to everyone's displeasure.
and slipped my arms around his neck. One of his hands slid up under my skirt and stroked my cock COMMA! which immediately began to harden. I moaned and decided that COMMA! since we had the room for another hour COMMA! we could play Battleships.
Sev read my mind and he rolled us higher on the bed so I was sprawled out under him, our bodies touching everywhere. Our backs touched, our fronts touched, our knees touched, our rears touched... We looked rather like a pornographic painting by Picasso. His tongue tormented my right nipple with the Cruciatus while his hand delved into my underwear for rhinestones, since a girly-girl Stu like me undoubtedly had gemstones pouring from every orifice to stroke my cock. I panted while carding my fingers through his shorter hair. All summer, we had all summer to make love in every position and every room of our house.
D: And the author will not spare any description, I'm sure.
To heck with this, Mozilla crashed, I lost many pages of spork, and thus, you're getting sporkers.
A blonde girl looks around, somewhat detached from her surroundings. As such, suddenly disappearing and reappearing in this place did not especially perturb her.
She's a tad worried about the apparent lack of goats, though.
An eleven-year-old, dark-haired, dark-eyed
- HANDSOME-
Please absent yourself from here, Harry. *kicks him out* Where was I?
An eleven-year-old, dark-haired, dark-eyed boy glares at the walls of the Sporking Room. He is powerful, unbeatable, and -
"Can you be a goat?"
What? "NO!"
"Oh. Are you sure? Can you be a snake?"
Possible. Yes, sounds quite appealing. He hisses for good measure.
"I'll be a goat, then. Baaaaaaaaaa."
On second thought, perhaps this wasn't such a good idea.
"Sexy Harry," he purred and gently bit my nipple before moving to the other one. "All summer to feed the wards up and down the western coast of the country with our love.
...Are "wards" a type of goat, then?
We shall feed them with looooooooooooooooooooove. I'm sure.
It kind of becomes terrifying when you know what they mean by "love".
We're going to be worn out by the time we have to go back."
I chuckled and sighed happily. "All summer, Sev, I can hardly wait to get home and get away from you."
He kissed his way down my body and disappeared under my skirt.
Eep. Where'd he go?
Into the Ass of Doom, where else?
Oh. ...The... Donkey of Doom, you mean?
Never mind.
Teasing kisses down my thighs avoided my cock until I was panting with frustration.
...What noises do chickens make, again? Oh, right. BAWKBAWKBAWK! COCKLEDOODLEDOO! :D
*snorts*
As if you're one to preach about sanity, Tommy boy. You're a wizard, remember?
HAHAHAHAHAH YES I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS SPECIAL ALWAYS *shakes* *trembles* *pants* *flushes*
BAWKBA- *pauses* Are you feeling all right? You... don't look good.
I CAN MAKE PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME HURT IF I WANT TO BWAHAHAHA HEE HEE HEE
...If it's hurting you, I can try to -
MWAHAHAHAH
...If I can find Abby, he'll calm you down... Where is Abby? )8
I'M SPECIAL!
I rest my case.
I needed his mouth on my cock and I needed it now.
Why does your rooster need this?
...And why are you only interested in your rooster, anyway? What about the goats? Don't you LIKE goats? )8
SNAKES TALK TO ME!
Oh... Snakes are nice, too... but what about the goats?
But he took pity on me, freeing it and swallowing it whole.
8( I... don't... exactly... think... that's... um... good for the rooster.
Even though it had only been two days since we'd made love, I was already writhing in need. Learn to masturbate. A slick finger slid between my cheeks and in just far enough to trigger my gland.
What gland?
*stops panting for a moment* This is probably one of those things man isn't meant to know. *immediately goes to research it*
...
...DX AND FOR ONCE, THERE'S A REASON! DX *SPAZZCOMPELTELEKINESISTORTURE*
Yes, Tom, we'll see if you still say that when you have all your "tittering" fanboys gathered around.
...THAT HURT.
*sneers* And what will YOU do about it? I am special, I -
*blasts him across the room*
...*twitches* ...am not as unique as I thought...
I came hard and sank back with a sigh of relief. "Brilliant, Sev. I do love you."
His rough tongue licked me clean and his chuckle vibrated through my groin. "You just love me for the sex."
Honesty in THIS fic? The apocalypse must be coming!
"The most incredible, mind blowing sex ever known to man,"
Yes, it's mind-blowing and utterly not credible, I'll give them that.
I reminded him cheekily and he laughed out loud.
(Snape) LOL!
I love hearing that beautiful sound
Does anyone think Snape laughing would sound more like a donkey braying?
and I tugged him up to me so I could return the blow job.
Bah. Who needs to *twitch* *wince* return things?
If Alby steals any of my dresses -
I shall never regard that *urk* Dumbledore the same way again.
*insistent* But I don't! She imagines these things!
Your word against mine!
*sigh* Is this even a contest? I am perfectly in my right mind, whereas -
You don't even like goats!
What does THAT have to do with anything, pray tell?
EVERYTHING!
*buries face in hands*
Unzipping him, I eyed his hard cock with a gleam in my eye.
So now the rooster's dead and stiffening?
*poking a broken rib* I, meanwhile, shall crawl into a hole and try not to die.
*uninterested* You go do that.
We didn't really have time for him to fuck me but since I love his taste, it was no problem at all to catHYPHENlick my way around the broad crown before sucking him into my mouth.
All right, so this Harry doesn't have time to be buggered by a tasty, dead, stiffened rooster wearing a wide crown, but he has time to lick his way around the crown before engulfing the rooster.
Why am I reading this?
And why is he so much fonder of roosters than goats?
I still couldn't deep throat him.
He can't swallow the rooster all the way... Well, idiot, that's why you take SMALL bites! *blasts the fic on principle*
*dodges*
He was too big COMMA! but I gripped him tightly and teased my tongue over the velvetHYPHENsoft head, scrubbing at the long slit
*holds up scrub brush* ...But what slit? *is annoyed*
until he hissed.
He speaks to serpents?
Or there's a snake in here, somewhere... so it's a crowned dead tasty rooster crossed with a snake. *scowls* And Alby says I don't make sense.
I weighed more than I ever had in my life so by lying on his legs, I could keep his hips from moving up too much and choking me.
...WHY isn't he taking smaller bites?!
AND WHERE ARE THE GOATS?! *RAGE* *BOOMFLAIL*
*resolves to be
"Sweet Harry, you've got a mouth made for sin and a tongue to make an angel sing of humanity's destruction." And so Harry's tongue caused Second Impact.
(END SPORKING for now; I have homework and The Sims 2. :D;;)
==
Sirius tried so hard to be the best godfather he could be that I bit my tongue a dozen times each week. Thank goodness he and Remus discovered they loved each other while taking their annual vacation in the Swamp of OOCness. I secretly thought they were glad I was taken care of so they could go off on a honeymoon involving many giggles, sparkles, and squeals of "Siri!" and "Remy!". Severus had been so good about not hexing Sirius, I rewarded him every week with extra special love making.
W. H. O. R. E.
Seriously, that is prostitution! "Don't hex Sirius, and you'll be 'rewarded' with extra-special sex"?! Dude...
His torture session the last time he'd gone to a Death Eater meeting had scared me badly. But it brought Poppy into our secret and that was a big help. I didn't feel comfortable talking to Minerva about girl things
(Canon!McGonagall) ...Mr. Potter, WHY are you asking me about "girl things"? ...Does this... have something to do... with your newfound closeness... to Professor Snape? ...I'm telling Dumbledore.
and Hermione was right out of the question.
(Canon!Hermione) Harry? Are you all right? Did you confuse me with Emma Watson again?
But Poppy answered all my questions and gave me new things to think about.
(Canon!Pomfrey) Harry... do you know what "sexual abuse" and "child grooming" are?
She showed me a pensieve Pensieve memory about a birth she'd helped with and it made me think twice about getting pregnant.
But after a lot of thought, I still thought babies were OMG TEH COOLEST AND KEWTEST THINGS EVAR - what do you mean, they grow up? What do you mean, I have to take care of them? What do you mean, babies put a damper on the ol' sex life? BABIEEEEEEEEEEEES! wanted to and she promised to help sporkers in anySPACEway she could. That made me feel a lot better about our future, because I was a dimwitted, emotionally five-years-old faux-delicate-little-girl 'boy' who'd lose an intelligence contest with Ariana Dumbledore, even if Ariana wandered off halfway through the contest and blew up the stage. (She'd also win the "competence at functioning independently" contest.) We had the entire western coast of Great Britain to add to our ward gridhorehouse COMMA! but first we were going home to York to relax for three weeks. We'd gone to Lincoln first and I turned into Mary for the first time since last summer.
Aaaaaaaaaaaand here we go back to raw author-masturbation material. The pretense of a plot was nice while it lasted, I suppose...
{snip Harry changing into schoolgirl uniform and growing his hair out and Snape changing into jeans and a sweater and cutting his hair}
I stuck my tongue out at him but his long arm reached out like a tentacle and wrestled me into his lap, squishing and slurping as it did so. His lips opened mine with a crowbar and his hot tongue surged into me. ...Dude, isn't that description usually used for semen? O_o I melted at once into a puddle, and the sporkers began to sing:
DING-DONG THE WITCH... WIZARD... THINGY IS DEAD,
DING-DONG THE STUPID SUE/STU IS DEAD,
DING-DONG THE STUPID SUE/STU IS DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!
Then it reformed, much to everyone's displeasure.
and slipped my arms around his neck. One of his hands slid up under my skirt and stroked my cock COMMA! which immediately began to harden. I moaned and decided that COMMA! since we had the room for another hour COMMA! we could play Battleships.
Sev read my mind and he rolled us higher on the bed so I was sprawled out under him, our bodies touching everywhere. Our backs touched, our fronts touched, our knees touched, our rears touched... We looked rather like a pornographic painting by Picasso. His tongue tormented my right nipple with the Cruciatus while his hand delved into my underwear for rhinestones, since a girly-girl Stu like me undoubtedly had gemstones pouring from every orifice to stroke my cock. I panted while carding my fingers through his shorter hair. All summer, we had all summer to make love in every position and every room of our house.
D: And the author will not spare any description, I'm sure.
To heck with this, Mozilla crashed, I lost many pages of spork, and thus, you're getting sporkers.
A blonde girl looks around, somewhat detached from her surroundings. As such, suddenly disappearing and reappearing in this place did not especially perturb her.
She's a tad worried about the apparent lack of goats, though.
An eleven-year-old, dark-haired, dark-eyed
- HANDSOME-
Please absent yourself from here, Harry. *kicks him out* Where was I?
An eleven-year-old, dark-haired, dark-eyed boy glares at the walls of the Sporking Room. He is powerful, unbeatable, and -
"Can you be a goat?"
What? "NO!"
"Oh. Are you sure? Can you be a snake?"
Possible. Yes, sounds quite appealing. He hisses for good measure.
"I'll be a goat, then. Baaaaaaaaaa."
On second thought, perhaps this wasn't such a good idea.
"Sexy Harry," he purred and gently bit my nipple before moving to the other one. "All summer to feed the wards up and down the western coast of the country with our love.
...Are "wards" a type of goat, then?
We shall feed them with looooooooooooooooooooove. I'm sure.
It kind of becomes terrifying when you know what they mean by "love".
We're going to be worn out by the time we have to go back."
I chuckled and sighed happily. "All summer, Sev, I can hardly wait to get home and get away from you."
He kissed his way down my body and disappeared under my skirt.
Eep. Where'd he go?
Into the Ass of Doom, where else?
Oh. ...The... Donkey of Doom, you mean?
Never mind.
Teasing kisses down my thighs avoided my cock until I was panting with frustration.
...What noises do chickens make, again? Oh, right. BAWKBAWKBAWK! COCKLEDOODLEDOO! :D
*snorts*
As if you're one to preach about sanity, Tommy boy. You're a wizard, remember?
HAHAHAHAHAH YES I ALWAYS KNEW I WAS SPECIAL ALWAYS *shakes* *trembles* *pants* *flushes*
BAWKBA- *pauses* Are you feeling all right? You... don't look good.
I CAN MAKE PEOPLE WHO ANNOY ME HURT IF I WANT TO BWAHAHAHA HEE HEE HEE
...If it's hurting you, I can try to -
MWAHAHAHAH
...If I can find Abby, he'll calm you down... Where is Abby? )8
I'M SPECIAL!
I rest my case.
I needed his mouth on my cock and I needed it now.
Why does your rooster need this?
...And why are you only interested in your rooster, anyway? What about the goats? Don't you LIKE goats? )8
SNAKES TALK TO ME!
Oh... Snakes are nice, too... but what about the goats?
But he took pity on me, freeing it and swallowing it whole.
8( I... don't... exactly... think... that's... um... good for the rooster.
Even though it had only been two days since we'd made love, I was already writhing in need. Learn to masturbate. A slick finger slid between my cheeks and in just far enough to trigger my gland.
What gland?
*stops panting for a moment* This is probably one of those things man isn't meant to know. *immediately goes to research it*
...
...DX AND FOR ONCE, THERE'S A REASON! DX *SPAZZCOMPELTELEKINESISTORTURE*
Yes, Tom, we'll see if you still say that when you have all your "tittering" fanboys gathered around.
...THAT HURT.
*sneers* And what will YOU do about it? I am special, I -
*blasts him across the room*
...*twitches* ...am not as unique as I thought...
I came hard and sank back with a sigh of relief. "Brilliant, Sev. I do love you."
His rough tongue licked me clean and his chuckle vibrated through my groin. "You just love me for the sex."
Honesty in THIS fic? The apocalypse must be coming!
"The most incredible, mind blowing sex ever known to man,"
Yes, it's mind-blowing and utterly not credible, I'll give them that.
I reminded him cheekily and he laughed out loud.
(Snape) LOL!
I love hearing that beautiful sound
Does anyone think Snape laughing would sound more like a donkey braying?
and I tugged him up to me so I could return the blow job.
Bah. Who needs to *twitch* *wince* return things?
If Alby steals any of my dresses -
I shall never regard that *urk* Dumbledore the same way again.
*insistent* But I don't! She imagines these things!
Your word against mine!
*sigh* Is this even a contest? I am perfectly in my right mind, whereas -
You don't even like goats!
What does THAT have to do with anything, pray tell?
EVERYTHING!
*buries face in hands*
Unzipping him, I eyed his hard cock with a gleam in my eye.
So now the rooster's dead and stiffening?
*poking a broken rib* I, meanwhile, shall crawl into a hole and try not to die.
*uninterested* You go do that.
We didn't really have time for him to fuck me but since I love his taste, it was no problem at all to catHYPHENlick my way around the broad crown before sucking him into my mouth.
All right, so this Harry doesn't have time to be buggered by a tasty, dead, stiffened rooster wearing a wide crown, but he has time to lick his way around the crown before engulfing the rooster.
Why am I reading this?
And why is he so much fonder of roosters than goats?
I still couldn't deep throat him.
He can't swallow the rooster all the way... Well, idiot, that's why you take SMALL bites! *blasts the fic on principle*
*dodges*
He was too big COMMA! but I gripped him tightly and teased my tongue over the velvetHYPHENsoft head, scrubbing at the long slit
*holds up scrub brush* ...But what slit? *is annoyed*
until he hissed.
He speaks to serpents?
Or there's a snake in here, somewhere... so it's a crowned dead tasty rooster crossed with a snake. *scowls* And Alby says I don't make sense.
I weighed more than I ever had in my life so by lying on his legs, I could keep his hips from moving up too much and choking me.
...WHY isn't he taking smaller bites?!
AND WHERE ARE THE GOATS?! *RAGE* *BOOMFLAIL*
*resolves to be
"Sweet Harry, you've got a mouth made for sin and a tongue to make an angel sing of humanity's destruction." And so Harry's tongue caused Second Impact.
(END SPORKING for now; I have homework and The Sims 2. :D;;)