[10] - Personal thoughts of looking at myself. Also private to Goose.
((ooc: holy crap what is this depressing entry ):< Feel free to laugh at him and whatnot fff... it is somewhat hackable in some parts but not completely public like how it was before, because he has learned some computer skills from Otacon.))
To the Marine Science students: My apologies to those in Marine Science class. I will have to cancel the class for the coming Wednesday due to personal difficulties. I do know this is a selfish thing for me to do. If you wish, you may request one thing we can do as a class that involves with the class topic in the next meeting.
-------- [Private: Hackable level 2 - Somewhat hackable]
[Private to self]
Quite a lot of things had happened this week. Both pleasant and unpleasant things. Quite a mix of both, unfortunately, and this has caused me to be deprived of sleep for the past few days. I have been attempting to get some sleep, although my eyes refuse to close when I am lying on the bed.
The biggest cause of this stress is with the arrival of that..despicable rainbow pig. With the things that had happened between us in the past still in my mind, I cannot concentrate with things I must be working on, such as class plans.
Even when I had lived for a few centuries now, a part of myself is still an immature child with bursting rage that shows up everytime he is around. After every outbursts, I always think back and feel utterly foolish for taking such action. I am not supposed to be acting like a ten-year-old child. I know better than to quarrel with that pig. I understand the he does not wish to interact with me, and I do not want to get involved with him ever again. So why do I bother? Perhaps I shall drop by a few psychology classes and re-read a few of the psychology text the school has available so I can understand this.
Emotions are such a confusing and dangerous thing. One wrong step and I find myself surrounded in chaos. My experience in the past with my carelessness is what keeps me from completely snapping for now, but I do not know if I can last until Winter Break. Only a few more weeks; it seems so short, yet so long.
My past mistake during my childhood still haunts me. All the buildings blown away due to my carelessness...all those people I had killed with a simple flap of my wings. My childish behavior had caused a whole city do be destroyed. Of course, I have gained a lot more control from being enrolled in this academy a long time ago, and I am grateful for that. But the memories do not go away. They are still clearly imprinted in my mind and makes me terrified to make the same mistake again.
Dragging my past...why can't I just let go and move foward?
The karma from my carelessness has given me horrible luck during holidy season.
I really do wish I can ignore his existence. Perhaps I shall spend some time under the sea to clear out some of my thoughts.
[Private to Goose:]
Perhaps we can go for a friendly outing in a day or so? I could use some delightful conversations, if it is okay with you. Unfortunately, I am not familiar with how humans go on with their social outings, so I may have to leave what we can do up to you.
((psst, they should totes go drinking or something, get Lugia super-light alcoholic drinks 8D))
------- [/Private]
...I can smell that pig's cigarette fumes from here. It's quite disgusting and makes me nauseous.
To the Marine Science students: My apologies to those in Marine Science class. I will have to cancel the class for the coming Wednesday due to personal difficulties. I do know this is a selfish thing for me to do. If you wish, you may request one thing we can do as a class that involves with the class topic in the next meeting.
-------- [Private: Hackable level 2 - Somewhat hackable]
[Private to self]
Quite a lot of things had happened this week. Both pleasant and unpleasant things. Quite a mix of both, unfortunately, and this has caused me to be deprived of sleep for the past few days. I have been attempting to get some sleep, although my eyes refuse to close when I am lying on the bed.
The biggest cause of this stress is with the arrival of that..despicable rainbow pig. With the things that had happened between us in the past still in my mind, I cannot concentrate with things I must be working on, such as class plans.
Even when I had lived for a few centuries now, a part of myself is still an immature child with bursting rage that shows up everytime he is around. After every outbursts, I always think back and feel utterly foolish for taking such action. I am not supposed to be acting like a ten-year-old child. I know better than to quarrel with that pig. I understand the he does not wish to interact with me, and I do not want to get involved with him ever again. So why do I bother? Perhaps I shall drop by a few psychology classes and re-read a few of the psychology text the school has available so I can understand this.
Emotions are such a confusing and dangerous thing. One wrong step and I find myself surrounded in chaos. My experience in the past with my carelessness is what keeps me from completely snapping for now, but I do not know if I can last until Winter Break. Only a few more weeks; it seems so short, yet so long.
My past mistake during my childhood still haunts me. All the buildings blown away due to my carelessness...all those people I had killed with a simple flap of my wings. My childish behavior had caused a whole city do be destroyed. Of course, I have gained a lot more control from being enrolled in this academy a long time ago, and I am grateful for that. But the memories do not go away. They are still clearly imprinted in my mind and makes me terrified to make the same mistake again.
Dragging my past...why can't I just let go and move foward?
The karma from my carelessness has given me horrible luck during holidy season.
I really do wish I can ignore his existence. Perhaps I shall spend some time under the sea to clear out some of my thoughts.
[Private to Goose:]
Perhaps we can go for a friendly outing in a day or so? I could use some delightful conversations, if it is okay with you. Unfortunately, I am not familiar with how humans go on with their social outings, so I may have to leave what we can do up to you.
((psst, they should totes go drinking or something, get Lugia super-light alcoholic drinks 8D))
------- [/Private]
...I can smell that pig's cigarette fumes from here. It's quite disgusting and makes me nauseous.