Whatever...
I don't really care. I'm in a decent enough mood, and I'm bored, so I guess I'll go ahead and post my little poem. Don't expect much from it, I don't talk much in the class, so pretty much anything of mine's somewhat interesting.
So anyway, I guess here it is:
Departure
by Michael Skinner
I left.
She left.
And all of a sudden, as we went our separate ways
the space between us grew.
I dared not turn to look, and see as her silhouette
quickly diminished in the distance.
It would’ve been futile to turn and go after her,
for I could never catch up.
I can’t walk beside her now.
And as I continued on my own path,
I knew the same was true for her.
So now, we move forward,
leaving our paths behind us.
All I carry on my journey
is the hope for a chance,
that our paths may cross in times to come.
Yeah, that was the first poem I submitted for my poetry class. We get restrictions in our class, to help us think in new ways. The restriction in this poem was "no rhyming." It's been a long time since I wrote a poem that didn't have a rhyme scheme or similar use of assonance, or at least an intended lack of rhyme. I also went ahead and went without a set meter. It's been a long time since I wrote a free verse poem.
Here are some of the comments I got on my poem:
"I like the ending."
"awesome"
"I look forward to reading more."
"I dug the tone you read it in."
"Beautifully written"
"why did you have to go your separate ways?"
"one heck of an emotional journey"
"...the dead-pan voice in which you write effectively communicates the acceptance of the situation."
"Though this poem withholds the language is too intimate to be so vague."
As you can see, while somewhat flattering in some cases, their comments didn't really help me improve my writing.
So anyway, I guess here it is:
Departure
by Michael Skinner
I left.
She left.
And all of a sudden, as we went our separate ways
the space between us grew.
I dared not turn to look, and see as her silhouette
quickly diminished in the distance.
It would’ve been futile to turn and go after her,
for I could never catch up.
I can’t walk beside her now.
And as I continued on my own path,
I knew the same was true for her.
So now, we move forward,
leaving our paths behind us.
All I carry on my journey
is the hope for a chance,
that our paths may cross in times to come.
Yeah, that was the first poem I submitted for my poetry class. We get restrictions in our class, to help us think in new ways. The restriction in this poem was "no rhyming." It's been a long time since I wrote a poem that didn't have a rhyme scheme or similar use of assonance, or at least an intended lack of rhyme. I also went ahead and went without a set meter. It's been a long time since I wrote a free verse poem.
Here are some of the comments I got on my poem:
"I like the ending."
"awesome"
"I look forward to reading more."
"I dug the tone you read it in."
"Beautifully written"
"why did you have to go your separate ways?"
"one heck of an emotional journey"
"...the dead-pan voice in which you write effectively communicates the acceptance of the situation."
"Though this poem withholds the language is too intimate to be so vague."
As you can see, while somewhat flattering in some cases, their comments didn't really help me improve my writing.