(no subject)
Sometimes I get angry
Like what feels like irrationally angry about stupid things. Like right now, the bartender blew up because someone changed the radio. And he was like "Don't touch a black man's radio" and number one, he's not black and number two he likes a really fucking obscure type of music, and as his friend, I dislike it and it often makes me want to change it as well, but I don't because I'm passive as shit.
I mean would it kill him not to put on super indie stuff like ALL THE TIME, its not the mood of the bar most of the time, and we always make fun of him for it. When no one else knows or likes the music then you don't play it. But whatever, not my call, but don't get mad when you have to suffer through something you might not like for all of twenty minutes when these people PAY YOU TIPS. To a certain extent you choose the mood but the customers also influence that, and they stick around or not based on that.
He always compares himself to another bartender, who created all sorts of things and allowed everyone to pick the music, sometimes even though he hated it, the default was blues, but we had all sorts of other things. And if someone complained about the blues it wasn't a sort of "Just deal."
I'm just a little sick of having to make allowances for everyone else, but never myself. Right now, I just want to curl up in a little ball, because I got into a huge fight with my dad and I'm still all raw over that, and it sucks balls, and I just want things to be happy, but its not going to be like that. My best friends in NOLA are pretty much either moved away or shacked up. It kinda sucks, I just had a thing with one of my friends from the Brewhouse who backed out of something we planned for two months ago, and then was like "I'll totally make it up to you for not being your friend since I've been getting laid regularly" well not exactly but close enough. And everyone takes me for granted all the time here anyway like really, saying "Oh, Kat doesn't count" And if there's someone new or interesting its like "Kat will just sit there till I'm done and whatever"
And this thanksgiving thing, that I came up with the idea for, someone else decided to do and then they all forgot to even invite me till two days before thanksgiving. They just assumed someone else had.
I'm just ignored as though I don't matter or forgotten, and people wonder why I'm so quiet, because no one listens anymore. I realized I'm so used to being interrupted that when someone does pay attention I don't have full thought. That I can't even argue anymore, I just feel shitty.
God I feel so high school, But right now I'm entitled to, I'm all PMS-y and shit and because its the holiday season, and I don't have anything going on except trying desperately to buy some stuff for my cousins but its not working so well, because as I always realize, I don't know them that well.
Things aren't going that badly, but this was a bad weekend, and I'm a bit tired and sad.
Like what feels like irrationally angry about stupid things. Like right now, the bartender blew up because someone changed the radio. And he was like "Don't touch a black man's radio" and number one, he's not black and number two he likes a really fucking obscure type of music, and as his friend, I dislike it and it often makes me want to change it as well, but I don't because I'm passive as shit.
I mean would it kill him not to put on super indie stuff like ALL THE TIME, its not the mood of the bar most of the time, and we always make fun of him for it. When no one else knows or likes the music then you don't play it. But whatever, not my call, but don't get mad when you have to suffer through something you might not like for all of twenty minutes when these people PAY YOU TIPS. To a certain extent you choose the mood but the customers also influence that, and they stick around or not based on that.
He always compares himself to another bartender, who created all sorts of things and allowed everyone to pick the music, sometimes even though he hated it, the default was blues, but we had all sorts of other things. And if someone complained about the blues it wasn't a sort of "Just deal."
I'm just a little sick of having to make allowances for everyone else, but never myself. Right now, I just want to curl up in a little ball, because I got into a huge fight with my dad and I'm still all raw over that, and it sucks balls, and I just want things to be happy, but its not going to be like that. My best friends in NOLA are pretty much either moved away or shacked up. It kinda sucks, I just had a thing with one of my friends from the Brewhouse who backed out of something we planned for two months ago, and then was like "I'll totally make it up to you for not being your friend since I've been getting laid regularly" well not exactly but close enough. And everyone takes me for granted all the time here anyway like really, saying "Oh, Kat doesn't count" And if there's someone new or interesting its like "Kat will just sit there till I'm done and whatever"
And this thanksgiving thing, that I came up with the idea for, someone else decided to do and then they all forgot to even invite me till two days before thanksgiving. They just assumed someone else had.
I'm just ignored as though I don't matter or forgotten, and people wonder why I'm so quiet, because no one listens anymore. I realized I'm so used to being interrupted that when someone does pay attention I don't have full thought. That I can't even argue anymore, I just feel shitty.
God I feel so high school, But right now I'm entitled to, I'm all PMS-y and shit and because its the holiday season, and I don't have anything going on except trying desperately to buy some stuff for my cousins but its not working so well, because as I always realize, I don't know them that well.
Things aren't going that badly, but this was a bad weekend, and I'm a bit tired and sad.