Ain't life a biznatch! but I love it
well, what can I say, this is my first entry ever into this site. (thanks Denise). I guess the best way to start is to tell you about my self. Sure why not, I'm the person who knows me best, (not a word denise). Full name is Jose Ramon Arias. At this time I am 24 years old, will be 25 on May 18th (the pope's birthday). I am full blood hispanic (although appear black to some people). Born in San Miguel, El salvador @ 7:45pm at the San Jose Hospital. (no that's not where my name came from). Came to the US when I was 5, lived with my parents till I was 21, then moved to Texas. My family is all in VA, I'm down here alone. I have two sisters, I'm the youngest. I have a renal transplant (kindney) that still has 67% createnine clearance after 7 1/2 years. That means it's still allive 67%. That's pretty good considering it was predidted to last 5-10, ofcourse every year it goes down. I got it 9/11/96 (what an anniverysary, huh). I have a beautiful baby boy named Marcus Gabriel Arias, he is 1 year old and is the love of my life. He starting to talk, walks by himself now (not for more than ten steps yet) and has 6 teeth. I just had his hair cut for the first time since he was born, and he looks precious! I was getting tired of people confusing him for a girl. I'm also a single parent, and honestly, I like it. His mother and I have joint custody and I get him for a week every other week. I know its very hard on him and that's what hurts the most, that he is in the middle of this. I've often thought of giving his mother and I another chance for his sake but a very good friend made me realize why we split up in the first place. (thanx brown sugga). Marcus is my world, the reason he means so much to me is because he is an extention of my life from an extention of my life. (those who know me know what that means). To me Marcus is the reason I lived when I should have been dead. Then there is his mother, what a character, or rather " characters". 'nuff said about that, get help girl! These days I devote my self to different things, but one leason I have learned is this.....
you think a thought..
thoughts becomes actions....
actions becomes a character....
a character becomes your destiny....
Basically I was a player in Va, that was one of the reasons I left VA to start fresh and become a better person, low and behold, I was characterized the same way here. Most men would boast, and make it a point to have game. I know I have game, THAT'S my problem. I try as best I can not to, but it doesn't help if women come and throw themselves your way for what ever reason. best way to put it, you test your game to see if still have it. True, I love and enjoy the attention, but I want to enjoy it from one woman only, and prefer it that way. I lost a very, very special woman in my life because she thought I was playing when all I wanted was time to step back, gather my thoughts, and finsh what I started for my son. She thought I wanted her on my time only, at my whim, if I had no one else then i would want her, if I did have someone else then she went on the back burner. This was not the case at all, I loved her very much, but I felt like she wanted me to put her before my son, and I just could not do that. I know in the end it was on one's fault, just allot of misunderstanding from both sides. But as I stated, the character will become your destiny.... until you find your home to God. I met my fiancee at my son's daycare, she was selling avon. I always to go see my son during my lunch hour. I did not know at the time but her friends there were trying set her up with me. We met, but we remained friends, for the sheer fact that we got along. I was not over the woman I lost so i wasn't interested in a relationship, at the time neither was Shantae. Turns out her father and mother are both Ordained pastors, and have a church. Shantae asked me to attend so I did, and have been going there ever since, and its been almost a year in july. I have grown so much and have become a better man, went from drinking to forget my problems and hurt feelings while not caring about anyone, to becoming the church accountant and member on the board of directors. Don't get me wrong, I'm not holly but any means, far from it, that's the only misconception people have. Its a growing process, things will most likely get worse before they get better and that's why so many leave the faith, they expect instant results. Think of it this way, when a seed falls from the tree is dies, gets buried, then grows, matures, and only then will you see it's fruit. Anyways, I am getting married, and looking forward to it, she is a great person. I still have love for the one I left, (not the baby momma) but life goes on, i learned that I don't do well with a long dostance relationship, even though I wanted it so bad. The only problem I have now with my fiancee is that same old character that haunts me, she hates the fact women constantly call the house (she and many others say the story of my life can be found in the movie "Chasing Papi"). But i havwe told them that I am engaged and that I have nothing to offer, I'ved even had her answer the phone for me. bottom like no matter where you are in life a player will always be seen for a player, and you come at me like a hoe, you will be treated as such, it goes boths ways. If you don't want to be characterized in a negative way them don't do the things that will make you look like one, feel me? Shanate has helped me opens my eyes to many things, she loves my son as her own, and her family loves my son & I. Family is very important to me, as long as they respect who I am, what I've become, and where I'm going. if they can't do that then its not worth being around them.
Anyways, that's that, I'm getting married, my life is headed in the right path, and after no such hard work and lots of sacriface my son is doing well. Life works in such funny ways, year to year my life takes a new path, only this time I found the path I want to stay on, towards my father's house, towards God, but will take lots of time, patience (which I have none), and prayer. Moral of this story, stop looking for the things you things you want, and work on you, then God will will send you what you desire. "God might not come when you want him to, BUT he is always on time", go on and let that marinate for a mintute. That's it in a nutshell, that's me.
you think a thought..
thoughts becomes actions....
actions becomes a character....
a character becomes your destiny....
Basically I was a player in Va, that was one of the reasons I left VA to start fresh and become a better person, low and behold, I was characterized the same way here. Most men would boast, and make it a point to have game. I know I have game, THAT'S my problem. I try as best I can not to, but it doesn't help if women come and throw themselves your way for what ever reason. best way to put it, you test your game to see if still have it. True, I love and enjoy the attention, but I want to enjoy it from one woman only, and prefer it that way. I lost a very, very special woman in my life because she thought I was playing when all I wanted was time to step back, gather my thoughts, and finsh what I started for my son. She thought I wanted her on my time only, at my whim, if I had no one else then i would want her, if I did have someone else then she went on the back burner. This was not the case at all, I loved her very much, but I felt like she wanted me to put her before my son, and I just could not do that. I know in the end it was on one's fault, just allot of misunderstanding from both sides. But as I stated, the character will become your destiny.... until you find your home to God. I met my fiancee at my son's daycare, she was selling avon. I always to go see my son during my lunch hour. I did not know at the time but her friends there were trying set her up with me. We met, but we remained friends, for the sheer fact that we got along. I was not over the woman I lost so i wasn't interested in a relationship, at the time neither was Shantae. Turns out her father and mother are both Ordained pastors, and have a church. Shantae asked me to attend so I did, and have been going there ever since, and its been almost a year in july. I have grown so much and have become a better man, went from drinking to forget my problems and hurt feelings while not caring about anyone, to becoming the church accountant and member on the board of directors. Don't get me wrong, I'm not holly but any means, far from it, that's the only misconception people have. Its a growing process, things will most likely get worse before they get better and that's why so many leave the faith, they expect instant results. Think of it this way, when a seed falls from the tree is dies, gets buried, then grows, matures, and only then will you see it's fruit. Anyways, I am getting married, and looking forward to it, she is a great person. I still have love for the one I left, (not the baby momma) but life goes on, i learned that I don't do well with a long dostance relationship, even though I wanted it so bad. The only problem I have now with my fiancee is that same old character that haunts me, she hates the fact women constantly call the house (she and many others say the story of my life can be found in the movie "Chasing Papi"). But i havwe told them that I am engaged and that I have nothing to offer, I'ved even had her answer the phone for me. bottom like no matter where you are in life a player will always be seen for a player, and you come at me like a hoe, you will be treated as such, it goes boths ways. If you don't want to be characterized in a negative way them don't do the things that will make you look like one, feel me? Shanate has helped me opens my eyes to many things, she loves my son as her own, and her family loves my son & I. Family is very important to me, as long as they respect who I am, what I've become, and where I'm going. if they can't do that then its not worth being around them.
Anyways, that's that, I'm getting married, my life is headed in the right path, and after no such hard work and lots of sacriface my son is doing well. Life works in such funny ways, year to year my life takes a new path, only this time I found the path I want to stay on, towards my father's house, towards God, but will take lots of time, patience (which I have none), and prayer. Moral of this story, stop looking for the things you things you want, and work on you, then God will will send you what you desire. "God might not come when you want him to, BUT he is always on time", go on and let that marinate for a mintute. That's it in a nutshell, that's me.