(no subject)
Asoiaf fanfic! Next in the crackastic happy endings for Asoiaf people fic
Characters: Starks, Dornish people and more
Warning: Extremely unlikely plot. Crack!fic. Almost no death. Written very quickly and unbetaed.
Arya
Not for the first time Arya cursed her missing sight. Though she had managed to become a fierce warrior using all her other senses, listening, smelling, feeling, it still happened too often that she hit her feet against some random rock, slowing her down when she travelled.
And now she had reached the battle field. And the battle was over. "Damn!" she thought. "Will I ever find my family again?" With her highly developed hearing sense she listened, trying to distinguish some familiar voice between the general cheering and celebrating. And there it was! A howl, somewhat lower and older but still familiar from her dreams in the distance, coming closer!
"Nymeria!" she exclaimed reaching out to touch the fur of her long lost wolf and Nymeria jumped on her, covering Arya's face in slobbery wolf kisses. Arya noticed wetness on her face and her eyes...her eyes! With a trembling hand she cleaned them and for the first time in years she could see the light!
"I can see! Nymeria, it's a miracle!!!" She looked around and though her sight was still blurry she could see the happy direwolf and behind her more people approaching.
"Sansa!" she exclaimed as a beautiful young woman ran towards her, hugging her fiercely. With a frown she recognized the tall man next to her sister. "What are you doing with the Hound?"
"He's not the Hound anymore, Arya. I have so much to tell you! I found him after mum hanged Petyr Baelish, you know mum, she's alright, except for the hair but apparently she's made friends with Cersei and she has been telling her Lannister hair dying tricks, don't ask me how that happened but I don't need hair dying yet and anyway, we are getting married!"
Before Arya could answer her sister another man approached.
"Arya Stark" he said. She looked at him and recognized Thoros of Myr, still dressed in his shabby red cloak and accompanied by Lord Beric, still eyeless but looking much healthier than she remembered him years before.
"For years I have been thinking of our last conversation. Do you remember?"
Arya didn't but she remained quiet.
"You asked me if Rh'llor could bring people back who had lost their head." Thoros continued. "I told you it was impossible but-" he paused for a moment. "Rh'llor has many powers. And what seemed lost is found again." He smiled and pointed towards two men standing a bit in the shadows under the trees.
"Father." Arya whispered. "Robb."
Ned and Robb standing next to each other, complete with head were smiling at her and for the first time in years Arya cried.
Sansa
Finding her sister had brought many memories back - good ones and bad ones. She felt happy to be with her family again - only Rickon and Bran were elsewhere, one busy being the King beyond the Wall and the other busy warging into Mammoths - but seeing how happy Nymeria and Arya were brought her back the memory of her lost wolf, Lady.
"Sansa, please come here." she heard her father say. "There is something I have to confess you." Ned sighed, and Sansa waited, patiently.
"Remember that day when I had to kill Lady?" Sansa nodded, wondering if her newly alive father had mind reading powers.
"I lied. I lied to you and to everyone. It's not proper of a Stark, and I don't want you to follow my example, but I had to."
"Father I don't understand. What-"
"I never killed her. I managed to hide her at Howland Reed's place and there she has been for all these years. Unharmed and safe if you don't count the fact that she is really sick of eating frogs." Ned pointed at the trees. "And beautiful she is, like you."
A really gorgeous huge wolf emerged from the shadows, walking elegantly, waving its shiny fur in the wind and approaching calmly the completely stunned Sansa.
"You're so pretty!" she exclaimed, not noticing Arya rolling her eyes behind her back.
And so finally Sansa found herself surrounded by her loved ones (safe for Rickon and Bran who were busy rebelling and warging and her mother who was getting her hair done by Cersei) and when Podric Payne brought her a plate full of lemon cakes, she felt completely happy.
Somewhere in Dorne
Oberyn was sitting at the beach, sipping a cold Martini and chatting with his family.
"Do you know why everybody is coming back from the death?" he asked Sarella.
"Archmaester Marwyn hinted he might know, but he hasn't shared his theory with us" she replied and shrugged "I don't mind though. I'm taking some holidays from Oldtown. With my Maester's chain completed I feel I deserve some relaxing."
Oberyn laughed. "You're right! I don't really care either, as long as the ones I have killed, stay dead."
"Oh Oberyn, I still can't believe you got yourself killed by Gregor Clegane." Elia said, looking worried. "And that they brought him back after he had died at your injuries!"
"Well, it was rather ridiculous though from what I've heard" Oberyn replied, shrugging. "Since they had to replace his head, apparently they took it from a person with severe short sight, and when Gregor rose again, undead and ready to kill, he dropped over a rock and fell into that pool with the flesh eating trouts." He grinned. "I've been told there wasn't enough left of him to feed a kitten."
And pensive he added "There is this rumour that the carnivore trouts were placed there by the Tullys, though nobody ever could confirm this."
Elia laughed. "Whoever it was, it was well deserved. When I travelled with Rhaegar, I rather liked Riverrun and -"
Oberyn interrupted her. "Talking of which, what happened with your husband?"
Elia looked unconcerned. "I left him. He came back playing his harp and looking for Lyanna, so I told him that I would take our children and move back to Dorne. And that he shouldn't bother to invite me or anybody of my family to a tourney." She took a bit of Oberyns Martini and continued "Now his sister is the Queen, I doubt there will be a problem. He never liked ruling anyway. And Daenerys agreed that in the case she would die childless that our children would succeed her. She also told me later that Rhaegar was thinking of moving to the Queenstower in the North and spend his life as a hermit musician."
Oberyn burst out laughing "A hermit musician! That suits Rhaegar well! Let's drink to this!"
"And to Quentyn, King Consort of the Seven Kingdoms!" Arianne added.
"And to Dorne and to us!" Together they rose their cups and drank to a happier future.
Characters: Starks, Dornish people and more
Warning: Extremely unlikely plot. Crack!fic. Almost no death. Written very quickly and unbetaed.
Arya
Not for the first time Arya cursed her missing sight. Though she had managed to become a fierce warrior using all her other senses, listening, smelling, feeling, it still happened too often that she hit her feet against some random rock, slowing her down when she travelled.
And now she had reached the battle field. And the battle was over. "Damn!" she thought. "Will I ever find my family again?" With her highly developed hearing sense she listened, trying to distinguish some familiar voice between the general cheering and celebrating. And there it was! A howl, somewhat lower and older but still familiar from her dreams in the distance, coming closer!
"Nymeria!" she exclaimed reaching out to touch the fur of her long lost wolf and Nymeria jumped on her, covering Arya's face in slobbery wolf kisses. Arya noticed wetness on her face and her eyes...her eyes! With a trembling hand she cleaned them and for the first time in years she could see the light!
"I can see! Nymeria, it's a miracle!!!" She looked around and though her sight was still blurry she could see the happy direwolf and behind her more people approaching.
"Sansa!" she exclaimed as a beautiful young woman ran towards her, hugging her fiercely. With a frown she recognized the tall man next to her sister. "What are you doing with the Hound?"
"He's not the Hound anymore, Arya. I have so much to tell you! I found him after mum hanged Petyr Baelish, you know mum, she's alright, except for the hair but apparently she's made friends with Cersei and she has been telling her Lannister hair dying tricks, don't ask me how that happened but I don't need hair dying yet and anyway, we are getting married!"
Before Arya could answer her sister another man approached.
"Arya Stark" he said. She looked at him and recognized Thoros of Myr, still dressed in his shabby red cloak and accompanied by Lord Beric, still eyeless but looking much healthier than she remembered him years before.
"For years I have been thinking of our last conversation. Do you remember?"
Arya didn't but she remained quiet.
"You asked me if Rh'llor could bring people back who had lost their head." Thoros continued. "I told you it was impossible but-" he paused for a moment. "Rh'llor has many powers. And what seemed lost is found again." He smiled and pointed towards two men standing a bit in the shadows under the trees.
"Father." Arya whispered. "Robb."
Ned and Robb standing next to each other, complete with head were smiling at her and for the first time in years Arya cried.
Sansa
Finding her sister had brought many memories back - good ones and bad ones. She felt happy to be with her family again - only Rickon and Bran were elsewhere, one busy being the King beyond the Wall and the other busy warging into Mammoths - but seeing how happy Nymeria and Arya were brought her back the memory of her lost wolf, Lady.
"Sansa, please come here." she heard her father say. "There is something I have to confess you." Ned sighed, and Sansa waited, patiently.
"Remember that day when I had to kill Lady?" Sansa nodded, wondering if her newly alive father had mind reading powers.
"I lied. I lied to you and to everyone. It's not proper of a Stark, and I don't want you to follow my example, but I had to."
"Father I don't understand. What-"
"I never killed her. I managed to hide her at Howland Reed's place and there she has been for all these years. Unharmed and safe if you don't count the fact that she is really sick of eating frogs." Ned pointed at the trees. "And beautiful she is, like you."
A really gorgeous huge wolf emerged from the shadows, walking elegantly, waving its shiny fur in the wind and approaching calmly the completely stunned Sansa.
"You're so pretty!" she exclaimed, not noticing Arya rolling her eyes behind her back.
And so finally Sansa found herself surrounded by her loved ones (safe for Rickon and Bran who were busy rebelling and warging and her mother who was getting her hair done by Cersei) and when Podric Payne brought her a plate full of lemon cakes, she felt completely happy.
Somewhere in Dorne
Oberyn was sitting at the beach, sipping a cold Martini and chatting with his family.
"Do you know why everybody is coming back from the death?" he asked Sarella.
"Archmaester Marwyn hinted he might know, but he hasn't shared his theory with us" she replied and shrugged "I don't mind though. I'm taking some holidays from Oldtown. With my Maester's chain completed I feel I deserve some relaxing."
Oberyn laughed. "You're right! I don't really care either, as long as the ones I have killed, stay dead."
"Oh Oberyn, I still can't believe you got yourself killed by Gregor Clegane." Elia said, looking worried. "And that they brought him back after he had died at your injuries!"
"Well, it was rather ridiculous though from what I've heard" Oberyn replied, shrugging. "Since they had to replace his head, apparently they took it from a person with severe short sight, and when Gregor rose again, undead and ready to kill, he dropped over a rock and fell into that pool with the flesh eating trouts." He grinned. "I've been told there wasn't enough left of him to feed a kitten."
And pensive he added "There is this rumour that the carnivore trouts were placed there by the Tullys, though nobody ever could confirm this."
Elia laughed. "Whoever it was, it was well deserved. When I travelled with Rhaegar, I rather liked Riverrun and -"
Oberyn interrupted her. "Talking of which, what happened with your husband?"
Elia looked unconcerned. "I left him. He came back playing his harp and looking for Lyanna, so I told him that I would take our children and move back to Dorne. And that he shouldn't bother to invite me or anybody of my family to a tourney." She took a bit of Oberyns Martini and continued "Now his sister is the Queen, I doubt there will be a problem. He never liked ruling anyway. And Daenerys agreed that in the case she would die childless that our children would succeed her. She also told me later that Rhaegar was thinking of moving to the Queenstower in the North and spend his life as a hermit musician."
Oberyn burst out laughing "A hermit musician! That suits Rhaegar well! Let's drink to this!"
"And to Quentyn, King Consort of the Seven Kingdoms!" Arianne added.
"And to Dorne and to us!" Together they rose their cups and drank to a happier future.