mannifesto of average people
if only we knew then what we know now. i mean, only now do we know how wrong we were. we were so fucking wrong in high school. or should i say, the authorities were so wrong and we allowed them to lead us astray. or should i say, they tried to lead us astray and we stood and we watched and we should have grabbed them by their fucking throats and yelled "this is my youth and this is important! give me freedom and give me opportunity because i am valuable. i am better than all those other shits out there and i am better than you! shut the fuck up with your rules and your books because in ten years, i will walk on water. and in ten years, you'll still be here, working for the system. sure, they told us to chase after our dreams but they never showed us the possibilities. it was always a white wall. your future is a void, they told us. it is up to you to fill in the spaces and it is up to us criticize you. it is up to tell you that you are not good enough and that you are not ready. sure, they told us to be ourselves but they really wanted us to wait until after we graduated. in high school you must jump through hoops and do what you are told. you need to learn the basics. you need to follow the directions to freedom. bull fucking shit. jesus christ crying on a triscut. there is no instruction manual for this kind of thing! independent thinking and salvation and freedom and love. you cannot learn these things but you can feel them if you put your ear to the ground. light a fire. set everything on fire because the more light the better! blind yourself by the brilliance of the world around you. radiant fuel energy! you must let go of the past and yet you must recognize your anger. before you turn that anger into something productive you must soak in that anger as a force of destruction and irrational hatred. death and resurrection and anal rape. stick an eight inch stick of tnt into the back of that sucker! pump that body full of regret! ask yourself why the fuck you forgave those people at the time and realize that it was not an act of kindness. the pussy is not selfless! do you think jesus christ taught forgiveness because he felt we'd be all be pathetic and all alone if we didn't learn to turn the other cheek? do you think jesus was a host for leeches? do you think a good christian is intended to live in the swamp and love the filth and the shit? do you truly believe that? punch yourself in the face once for your embryo. punch yourself in the face once for your newborn. punch yourself in the face for your toddler and your child and your adolescent boy. your teenage freak and yourself now, looking forward to growing old. is this what you wanted to be when you grew up? because you're here. grown up. you made it happen. you can blame all those people along the road because they misled you or they lied to you and pretended to be your friend but in truth they were lonely and they needed you to stay on your knees. or you can shit them out in the toilet and forget about them. forgiveness is great in the way that i forgive my shit for being shit and i forget about it. i don't hold any grudges and i don't hold resentment. nothing at all. follow the model of christ. ask for forgiveness. act for forgiveness. believe and then walk in the path. and shed no tears for the others. the ones who don't understand. the future of the free world depends on the blood of patriots. the future of the free spirit is contingent on the burning of bodies and hollow logs and items of disease. boils. moles. hairy patches of cancerous flesh. cut them out and drown them in brandy. light them on fire. light everything on fire. and most of all, remind yourself that if you knew then what you know now, you wouldn't know anything you didn't already know. what you mean to say is, if only i had an ounce of confidence in myself. not the kicking and screaming scared shitless disguised in arrogance but the faith to trust the wisdom. yes, you are old enough. yes, you are on the right path. yes, those people are a pain in the ass but thank god they have no impact on your life. they are nothing. gone and forgotten and it would make no difference at all if they were dead. rotten but without the stench. lift up and catch a ride. let the spirit catch you. carry you. build you. and if you remember one thing, remember that it will take a lot of work. building a bridge to anywhere is always costly and time consuming. salvation is not free.