Contemplation
Well It's approximatly 6 in the morning and I can't sleep i just can't stop thinking. I hung out with a good friend yesterday and i'm starting to wonder, or actually i've already known that there's something better out there. I'm starting to believe more in god then i ever have before. I mean I can honestly say i'm not scared of death, but i ask myself would i really want to die right this moment knowing that i could and probably would go to hell. That is what i'm scared of. I'm joining the military soon and that means i could probably end up going to war, and if i go to war that could mean that I might not come back. I would just like to die knowing that I believe that there's something out there. I already know that there's good in this world, and that there is evil. I am good hearted but am very receptive to evil, but there just doesn't seem to be much that can make me change. I thought for a while that a girl would make me change or pills or therapy, but even the love that i felt and still feel doesn't change me and i don't think it ever will. God loves everyone and i fell that might just be the love that i need. "If so many people don't believe in god, then why do we all have the thought that he's there, that there's something greater." -Kris Stoff, I love you man.