Apr 21, 2005 00:26
Everything you ever wanted to know about FagHags (But Were Afraid to Ask)
By Andrea Johnson
There is that special woman in every gay man’s life (or, that special girl in every gay boy’s life - depending on their respective ages, maturity, etc): his faghag. A faghag is a woman who has ties to the GLBT community, mostly through her gay male friends. While she often is straight, she is an advocate of the GLBT community, strongly believing and fighting for GLBT rights.
Beyond that though, she is a friend to her gay boy(s), a non-judgmental source of love and support. She is someone who he can count on to listen to his drama with his boyfriend, hook-up or community issues. Unlike other friends, who aren’t involved in the GLBT community and may flinch or be “grossed out” by hearing about his drama, a faghag is there to listen to all his drama.
There are, of course, women and girls out there who perpetuate and fulfill many (if not all) of the negative stereptypes of faghags. Sadly, we all know the type -- the “bad” faghags. They’re the girls who see their gay boys as novelties or treat them like accessories.
As far as I’m concerned, a good faghag is simply a woman who has ties to the GLBT community, mostly through gay men, and has a sincere sense of concern and care for the GLBT community.
The good/bad faghag controversy aside, there is confusion and differing opinions on how a faghag fits into the GLBT community. It seems that the only consensus on the topic of faghags is that there is no consensus. In my personal experience, however, a faghag’s role is fairly clear. She is an ally and advocate of the GLBT community and happens to be friends with at least one (but often several) gay men or gay boys; she understands the dynamics and drama of being a gay man well enough to offer feedback as necessary, and can handle gay-boy drama like no one else. As a friend once said, a faghag is like the underwire bra of the GLBT community. She lifts, separates and makes things just a little bit prettier - at least when she’s doing her job right.
A good faghag is a great friend to her gay boys and the GLBT community, and all she asks in return is that those she’s a friend to are friends in return. So, boys, if your faghag is good to you, be good to her in return. And to all those girls out there who are the dreaded “bad” faghags - and deep down, I think you know who you are - stop it, damn it. You’re making the rest of us look bad.