last entry of the school year...more than likely
taking a break from writing my gay-tastic multi-genre paper. (it's about my first day of teaching and damn it's gay...lot's of "i won't underestimate you" and crap)
So. Something that bugs me: I hate when people act like they know you and your business and your relationship history. it just doesn't make sense. people just pass judgement without knowing. it also annoys me when people tell me things and they know it will get a rise out of me. i know what is going on, i don't need to hear about it from everyone. if you get some kind of pleasure from making me feel like shit, then what kind of friend are you? i know that you all think i should just "get over him" and yeah. you're right. i should. but it's just a leetle difficult to do that for me. and believe me, i've tried. i've dated other guys and lately this year, i've forced myself to have crushes on people even when the whole time in the back of my head i was like there is no way this is going to work out. no way at all. my reasoning behind this was that if i had someone else to focus on, it would be much easier to get over him. well that didn't happen. i'm sorry. don't force me to get over him this way. it's wrong on so many counts. then people tell me to just stop seeing him. i'm supposed to just stop seeing my best friend. he has been the person i've turned to with all of my problems for the past five years. i'm supposed to just stop that? that's impossible. i couldn't do that. that's what i'm dealing with. i am just SO sick of people telling me what to do and how to feel. it's me and my head. get the fuck out. let me deal with it the best way i know how. which is to sit back and try not to feel things. i don't know if any of this makes sense. but it does to me. in some odd way.
So. Something that bugs me: I hate when people act like they know you and your business and your relationship history. it just doesn't make sense. people just pass judgement without knowing. it also annoys me when people tell me things and they know it will get a rise out of me. i know what is going on, i don't need to hear about it from everyone. if you get some kind of pleasure from making me feel like shit, then what kind of friend are you? i know that you all think i should just "get over him" and yeah. you're right. i should. but it's just a leetle difficult to do that for me. and believe me, i've tried. i've dated other guys and lately this year, i've forced myself to have crushes on people even when the whole time in the back of my head i was like there is no way this is going to work out. no way at all. my reasoning behind this was that if i had someone else to focus on, it would be much easier to get over him. well that didn't happen. i'm sorry. don't force me to get over him this way. it's wrong on so many counts. then people tell me to just stop seeing him. i'm supposed to just stop seeing my best friend. he has been the person i've turned to with all of my problems for the past five years. i'm supposed to just stop that? that's impossible. i couldn't do that. that's what i'm dealing with. i am just SO sick of people telling me what to do and how to feel. it's me and my head. get the fuck out. let me deal with it the best way i know how. which is to sit back and try not to feel things. i don't know if any of this makes sense. but it does to me. in some odd way.