elaboration
So... I am dumb and I have to be up in 3 hours and 45 minutes, but I can't sleep without doing this tonight. I have really had an AMAZING end to my week. The beginning was kinda rough, trouble in paradise if you will. (no details, just rough) All I am going to say is things are changing, so it freaked me out, and I had to dye my hair so that I could change something that I could actually control... it worked well :) Then, Wednesday I had to miss the IV game which we tied (If I would have been there we would have won :)) all because I baby sat... BUT I got to hold baby Aria until she fell asleep and just rocked her with her bottle and made her sleep! It was SOOOOO cool, I have never gotten to do that before. It just stinks that I couldn't have had my cake and eaten it too! :)
Thursday with IV and Friday's... i heart IV peoples, they are totally cool! I don't think I have laughed that hard in a while... Ricky is totally funny and yeah... good times (especially the part about Jared cross dressing... VERY INTERESTING ;)) The preacher was extremely interesting also (in my opinon). I know not everyone agrees with me, but hey... He talked about the gravity or the importance/harshness of our sin. His goal was to make us understand exactly how horrible our sin is. He said that no one is "basically good." In human terms, yes this is possible. But we humans place values on the sin we commit making one more horrible than another; God doesn't do this. So the thought of a human being "basically good" is a load of crap. Kinda interesting. Then, He made this statement... We live in a world of dark gray and pitch black. There is no such thing as white in our world. We can't even fathom what pure white looks like, what pure holiness really is... who God really is. Our white is God's dark gray. The only way we can be pure white is through Christ... but, if we dont' belive that our sin is "that bad," then we deminish and reject the need for Christ. Christ becomes an unimportant sidebar in the Christian life if our sin isn't "that bad." To further these thoughts, I've been thinking... We have some type of evil in us... and we choose whether to further our commitment to this evil or to further our commitment to God... NOW. Commitment=Love and so, by making the commitment to God, it is chosing to love God and try to follow Him and visa versa.
The whole love=commitment thing is totally hitting me now. I mean, I have KNOWN it for a while, but the penetration to my heart, and ACTUALLY knowing it are two way different things. I used to think (as in a day ago or so) that the person I would LOVE and would want to spend the rest of my life would give me some sort of feeling... it would be "different" with him right off the bat. I'm not sure I believe that in the least anymore. Love has NOTHING to do with feeling... well, little to do with feeling. The person has to make you feel special and loved and like they are commited to you, but when it comes down to it... every person I know gives me the same feeling (not really this committed to type of deal, but more like care-for). The commitment that I will make to one of my friends (maybe eventually down the road a ways) will make the difference in the care-for vs. love battle. It takes time to build that commitment, and therefore, love at first sight is, in my opinon, a complete and total hoax. This probably doesn't make too much sense, but it makes sense to me, and honestly that is who I am writing for...
Friday I found and wore a 25 dollar dress that is fantastic when combined with my hair :) Then I went to the banquet and had bruschetta antipasto, rack of lamb, mushroom tartlet, whole grilled salmon, pasta with tomato and broccoli, lobster and crab cakes, and pepsi. I think the pepsi ruins the fanciness of the dinner, but alas... I cannot drink ;) HA! I walked around in my pretty dress, road around Downtown (So beautiful at night and so interesting and diverse... so COOL), got Caramel Apple Cider from Starbucks (AMAZING!!!!!!) and then came home and attempted the viewing of TROY for Intro to education test on Wednesday. I gave up and went to bed :)
Today, band practice went swimmingly, and work didn't feel as such. It was really an enjoyable time. We were done by 10:02 and on our way... I got to drive by downtown again and see how wonderful it looks all lit up in the night time. and I had a long and very much so needed conversation with Stephen... who won't read this entry because it is too long... I know you way too well :) But it was good, and I love him to death, and probably will forever! and that is a cool thing, but we will see where God leads us! Then I talked to God... FOREVER... when I should have been taking a shower... just thanking him for amazing people, for amazing experiences, for amazing life... asking for guidance, praying for others well-being, and just soaking up the wonderfulness that is God... I LOVE GOD! and I can say that sooooo firmly now with much more conviction then I ever have before... even through trials and tribulations, God makes you triumphant if you just hold on to Him as tightly as you can.
And even though I sound like I am doing SOOOO well, which I am, I still have issues... and they are pretty major ones that I still need to work on. I still need justification from God, and an understanding of myself... but, that will be fore next week :)
Now I have 3 hours and 2 minutes to sleep... and I am going to soak every last bit of it up :)... NIGHTY
In Christ
Kristen
Thursday with IV and Friday's... i heart IV peoples, they are totally cool! I don't think I have laughed that hard in a while... Ricky is totally funny and yeah... good times (especially the part about Jared cross dressing... VERY INTERESTING ;)) The preacher was extremely interesting also (in my opinon). I know not everyone agrees with me, but hey... He talked about the gravity or the importance/harshness of our sin. His goal was to make us understand exactly how horrible our sin is. He said that no one is "basically good." In human terms, yes this is possible. But we humans place values on the sin we commit making one more horrible than another; God doesn't do this. So the thought of a human being "basically good" is a load of crap. Kinda interesting. Then, He made this statement... We live in a world of dark gray and pitch black. There is no such thing as white in our world. We can't even fathom what pure white looks like, what pure holiness really is... who God really is. Our white is God's dark gray. The only way we can be pure white is through Christ... but, if we dont' belive that our sin is "that bad," then we deminish and reject the need for Christ. Christ becomes an unimportant sidebar in the Christian life if our sin isn't "that bad." To further these thoughts, I've been thinking... We have some type of evil in us... and we choose whether to further our commitment to this evil or to further our commitment to God... NOW. Commitment=Love and so, by making the commitment to God, it is chosing to love God and try to follow Him and visa versa.
The whole love=commitment thing is totally hitting me now. I mean, I have KNOWN it for a while, but the penetration to my heart, and ACTUALLY knowing it are two way different things. I used to think (as in a day ago or so) that the person I would LOVE and would want to spend the rest of my life would give me some sort of feeling... it would be "different" with him right off the bat. I'm not sure I believe that in the least anymore. Love has NOTHING to do with feeling... well, little to do with feeling. The person has to make you feel special and loved and like they are commited to you, but when it comes down to it... every person I know gives me the same feeling (not really this committed to type of deal, but more like care-for). The commitment that I will make to one of my friends (maybe eventually down the road a ways) will make the difference in the care-for vs. love battle. It takes time to build that commitment, and therefore, love at first sight is, in my opinon, a complete and total hoax. This probably doesn't make too much sense, but it makes sense to me, and honestly that is who I am writing for...
Friday I found and wore a 25 dollar dress that is fantastic when combined with my hair :) Then I went to the banquet and had bruschetta antipasto, rack of lamb, mushroom tartlet, whole grilled salmon, pasta with tomato and broccoli, lobster and crab cakes, and pepsi. I think the pepsi ruins the fanciness of the dinner, but alas... I cannot drink ;) HA! I walked around in my pretty dress, road around Downtown (So beautiful at night and so interesting and diverse... so COOL), got Caramel Apple Cider from Starbucks (AMAZING!!!!!!) and then came home and attempted the viewing of TROY for Intro to education test on Wednesday. I gave up and went to bed :)
Today, band practice went swimmingly, and work didn't feel as such. It was really an enjoyable time. We were done by 10:02 and on our way... I got to drive by downtown again and see how wonderful it looks all lit up in the night time. and I had a long and very much so needed conversation with Stephen... who won't read this entry because it is too long... I know you way too well :) But it was good, and I love him to death, and probably will forever! and that is a cool thing, but we will see where God leads us! Then I talked to God... FOREVER... when I should have been taking a shower... just thanking him for amazing people, for amazing experiences, for amazing life... asking for guidance, praying for others well-being, and just soaking up the wonderfulness that is God... I LOVE GOD! and I can say that sooooo firmly now with much more conviction then I ever have before... even through trials and tribulations, God makes you triumphant if you just hold on to Him as tightly as you can.
And even though I sound like I am doing SOOOO well, which I am, I still have issues... and they are pretty major ones that I still need to work on. I still need justification from God, and an understanding of myself... but, that will be fore next week :)
Now I have 3 hours and 2 minutes to sleep... and I am going to soak every last bit of it up :)... NIGHTY
In Christ
Kristen